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Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat: 2 Rad Fatties Unapologetically Sitting Around Chewing the Fat!
Current Events, Hot Topics, Viewer Questions, and Vibe of the Week. Fat Politics, TV Shows with fat characters, ditching diet culture, #sexnotdiets, sex, sex toys, relationships, mental wellness, sex toy reviews, cannabis, cbd, medical fatphobia, glorifying fat bodies, movies, current events, hot topics, fashion, lingerie, Black Lives Matter, and pretty much anything under the big fat sun! Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Psychic, Spicy, Fierce Fatty: A Grim Guide
Grim opens up about her transition from stand-up comedy to burlesque, finding confidence and joy in performances despite societal challenges. From whimsical acts like Grimace to Alice Cooper, her journey is filled with resilience and creativity. We'll also hear the harrowing tale of her battle with cancer and the medical fat phobia she faced, showcasing her perseverance and spirit in the face of adversity. The conversation then delves into the reclaiming of the word "fat," transforming it from a hurtful term to a badge of pride that empowers her and others.
The episode doesn't stop there; we touch on Grim's multifaceted career in holistic and psychic practices, including her roles as a death and sex doula. We explore the frustrations of dealing with societal fat phobia and celebrate body confidence with a lighthearted segment on sex and powerful tools like the Hitachi wand. Don't miss this vibrant and inspiring conversation, and be sure to connect with us on Big Sexy Chat across all social media platforms. Thank you for being part of our community!
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Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.
Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!
On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, crystal and Murph are joined by a grim of all trades, the Griminator. She's a cancer survivor, spicy model, psychic death doula and all-around fantastic fatty. So settle in and prepare yourself for a show that's nothing short of a vision of fierce fat positivity.
Speaker 2:Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.
Speaker 2:We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hi everybody, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. I'm so excited to be here today. We have a special guest and I want to just remind everybody that we have this wonderful person in the background doing all the editing and the recording. That's Ashley. She's not here on the show today, but we like to give her a little acknowledgement because she works really hard for us. So thank you, ashley. Golf clap and of course, I'm here with Merv, and we have an extra special guest today. Her name is Grim, that's what she goes by. She's a cancer survivor, so I'm a cancer survivor as well. A fat psychic slut.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:You do burlesque. You have a special, special, extra special vr shoot. You read tarot, you do all kinds of things. You're, you're like a one woman company I, I, literally am you are so welcome. Welcome to big sexy chat. Welcome to our fat community. We love to have anybody who identifies as fat on our show, because we do too, so thank you uh, thank you for having me super excited.
Speaker 3:I just had to see the word fat and I was in, so yay, we are excited to have you.
Speaker 4:It's been. Uh see, I learned about grim probably about a year ago because my husband sent me, um, a text message and he was like, you got to check out this profile on instagram and I was like, oh my god, like this profile on Instagram. And I was like, oh my God, like this, this woman is the embodiment of like every fun thing I want to be, like I yes, I have to follow. And then, um, you started doing, uh, well, I think you had been doing, but you were doing $10 tarot on Thursdays on your live, and I just always find tarot super interesting and fun and, um, the way that you talk and your energy like I was just like this is so great. So now it's like a regular thing for us. Like, on Thursday nights, we hang out and we put uh Grimm on the tv. We, you know, do this the cast from the phone to the tv and and get to watch you on there, and it's been. It's a nice little community that you've built too, so it's a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:Murph, I'm trying to imagine the pumpkins on your big screen tv right.
Speaker 3:James must be like when I said tv, I was like, oh, that's an experience that I wasn't I love it.
Speaker 4:I love it if you uh are only listening and not getting a visual. You need to find the visual format of this episode.
Speaker 4:Grim has on a corset, a velvet corset that is like this beautiful auburn, like orangey it looks like it's ombre, almost I don't know if it is, but it's this gorgeous corset that's like got you know around her gigantic gorgeous boobs. It's fantastic. I was like just keep going. Yeah, I'm from. It's incredible. I could. I probably could sit here for, yeah, half an hour describing your boobs wanted to give the the podcast viewers a little something you know that's right.
Speaker 4:So tell us about you, because Crystal said you have such an eclectic work history, different professions, different things that you do. Tell us about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a bit. I've always been like that. I always do everything. You know, I'm a Gemini, as they say, and I feel like when I say I do that many things, people are like, yeah, ok, and I'm like, no, I, I literally do all of those things. So I'm, I'm a, I'm a tired girl, but I like, I like, um, functioning at this rate of anxiety, um, but I, uh, I did retail for like 17 years, so I was a retail manager and I hated it. But as, as I got older, I did all of these things and had a full-time retail job at the same time and I knew the goal was to stop doing retail. I didn't want to do it anymore, so I did it here.
Speaker 1:I am.
Speaker 4:So tell, tell us, like I know, I know we're missing things just from the profile of the things that we've listed, like what is it that you're currently doing? And like the process of how you kind of led from one to the other.
Speaker 3:Oh god, oh, process, what's that? So I think so. I started with modeling because I did theater and acting, so I needed headshots and I was like, oh, it'd be really fun to have a fun photo shoot. That'd be silly. So we did my headshots and then I did some lingerie. My man had a photography degree and I at this time had no self-esteem. So when I looked at the photos I looked much better than I thought I did. So I started doing that a lot and then I ended up gaining a following and I realized like, oh, people like want to see me like that's new and that and that kind of led a very long road into an only fans kind of level. You know what I mean? I never liked myself physically until I started modeling. I was like maybe 25, starting self-love.
Speaker 2:Not only do they want to see you, they want to pay to see you. Yes, isn't that so empowering.
Speaker 3:Isn't that crazy. I'll be on the couch in a big t-shirt eating cinnamon chips with no makeup on, and I'll be like people paid. Look at me, Wow, it's so jarring yeah.
Speaker 1:Gotta remind myself.
Speaker 4:You started out not feeling confident about yourself. So then you start to see these pictures of yourself, you start to gain a following. How did that then kind of blow up into so much more?
Speaker 3:I feel like it's a slow burn, but I've been doing this before. Onlyfans was a thing. Okay, like we used to have to do this manually, like find people on the internet, ask them like how old are you, do you have an ID, do you want this? This? We did it literally the manual way. So I I started it because people asked for it. Period, uh, old things like only fans, loyal fans. Those websites just make it easier, you know, and, and you know, make me do my taxes different. But but people were asking for it and the requests get crazier the longer I'm in the industry, which I love yeah, and do you do?
Speaker 4:you do like dominatrix type stuff?
Speaker 3:too, I do. I'm actually going to do more of that this year. Nice yeah, because I'm very picky with who I work with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you might go listen to our podcast of one of my best friends. She's a pro dom here in San Jose. We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great. We interviewed her a couple of years ago and it was really great, and it's one of our very popular podcasts.
Speaker 1:but she makes bank and she should.
Speaker 2:Sometimes people will pay her and I've helped with this to tickle them, oh yeah. And then people will pay her, like for three hours, to just lick her toes. And she just puts her table out, gets her computer out, writes her thank you notes, while they worship her feet for three hours fifteen hundred dollars. Yeah, they, they should they're paying to be in her presence absolutely.
Speaker 3:It's absolutely. Yeah, oh, I know and like think of what that does for your confidence oh yeah yeah, not that we're confident all the time, of course not what I'm saying. We're human. But you get it like I have to remind, like when I am having a rough week or whatnot with self-image, I do remind myself yeah, like someone would pay to see me like just waking up.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, exactly exactly and they probably would pay more for, even like the gross stuff of like they do eating the crusties out of my eyes and sitting down to go pee and getting to what like yeah, I sell a lot of anything that comes off your body.
Speaker 3:Yes, like they'll, they'll buy. Um, the only thing about uh, the only fans wave, I'll call it. It made it much more acceptable to talk about my work, which I love, but it also made every a lot of prices have to go down. Um, if you want to be on that kind of website, nobody's paying what they used to pay. Onlyfans has brought like a whole new clientele where they're like cool, can I have everything you've ever done for $5? Like that mentality and it's like no. That's the one thing I don't like about how popular this has become.
Speaker 2:May I interject just two quick things. I used to own a shop of lingerie just for fat women or fat people, anybody over the size 14. And sometimes people would tell me I feel so ugly, I feel so disgusted and I would ask them do you think I'm disgusting? They're like, oh my God, you're so beautiful. I'm like so are you. So sometimes you just have to be reminded and you know, like get somebody, shake somebody out of their coma, that they're in.
Speaker 2:They're so sure that they're too fat to do whatever it is I'm like. Do you we have the same body? Do you think I'm gross?
Speaker 3:oh, my god, no like so when I was a retail manager of multiple plus size stores. So I that my whole career was dealing with women that didn't like what they looked like, and it got to the point where I was so sick of hearing it that that that almost helped me. Like myself too. I'm like like I was maybe 28 at the time and I'm helping a 50 year old woman who still doesn't like her arms, still won't wear that, because her mom will think X, y and Z. And I'm like you're 50, 60 years old, you're still thinking that way because it's not going to be me. It's absolutely not going to be me.
Speaker 2:Hashtag big big arms, no harm. That's literally where the hashtag came from.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my hashtag is sex, not diets.
Speaker 2:The last thing I was just going to say is that when I had my boutique, we had the same problem you have with instagram when you show too much flesh, the bots assume it's porn, correct you're?
Speaker 3:having that's a whole conversation, because I see nude people and on instagram and they're not getting taken down, so that's all flesh. And I feel like instagram was like oh well, bigger bodies have more skin and I'm like me in a bikini. Isn't equating to the girl with the close-up naked photo, right? I don't understand that. And they're just like oh the ai can't figure it out, right?
Speaker 4:it has nothing to do with bias of the people that actually create the algorithm of course of course not. No, no, yeah, so you're in the modeling. You're getting things going with the OnlyFans. That's now led to some different shoots with different production companies. I heard that you got to record something to do with virtual reality.
Speaker 3:Tell us more about that. Vr was so cool. So I um, a blush erotica hired me to do a vr like a pov. It was just me, I wasn't with someone else in a scene and, um, they're, actually, they're sponsoring me to go to exotica in new jersey october 27, 28. So I will be in exotica Jersey. That's the next thing that's happening.
Speaker 3:They made it so easy. So before I even showed up because I'm an old millennial, I don't know how VR works so before I showed up, they sent me everything. They're like these are the shots of the angles we're going to do. You get to break between each one when you're. When you think you're done, just freeze and we'll stop the camera. I was told everything before I even showed up. It was way easier than I expected and especially I have a bachelor's in film. So, oh, I have a list of shots to do. Call it a day, and it's funny, we're already curvy. But in VR, to watch the POV, I'm like this is why people drool over us. It was nice to be able to watch it and see how people feel when they have all of this coming at them and I'm like, oh, I get it. I get it now.
Speaker 4:It makes you want to reach out and touch. For sure, yes.
Speaker 3:Oh, it was so cool. They were a lot of fun.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so are they releasing that around the time that you're going to Exotica?
Speaker 3:or is that?
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, it's already out. Oh yeah, it's out on their website. Oh okay, and you said it's Blush Erotica.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 4:They film with our friend Amazon Amanda she's actually going to be at Exotica too, so maybe we can get the two of you connected, because she's a lot of fun too. I think you'd enjoy hanging out with her.
Speaker 3:Yeah, of course. Yeah, there's so many people are at Exotica. It's going to be a good time, yeah.
Speaker 4:It'll be so fun. And, crystal, I think you're trying to say something right now.
Speaker 2:I was just saying that I believe that Blush website is blusheroticaVRcom.
Speaker 4:Fantastic. So if you want to see those pumpkin corset boobs in full VR, it's wild. So you've done this modeling, you've done shoots, burlesque. Tell us about burlesque, oh my god, and you have a a very purple, uh, friendly, uh person. I think everybody needs to know that you do I?
Speaker 3:so, oh, so I did. I've done stand-up comedy. That's what I did first and, and I used to go to burlesque shows and, like wish, going to burlesque shows almost made me depressed because I wasn't doing it and I thought that I couldn't. So I'm only mentioning comedy first, because all my burlesque is funny. So I also, I'm hypermobile, I have fibromyalgia, so I'm in pain 24-7. So I literally thought this wasn't a thing I could do. And I did a burlesque class years ago and after I had cancer, my friends produced an all-fat burlesque show and I went to it.
Speaker 3:Infatuation in, I think it's Cambridge, and it blew, blew my mind, first of all because everybody was fat, but secondly I was like I mean, I, I don't have to be like J-Lo dancing on this stage, like I was like I can move, like this, this is something I can do. And, um, my, so my friend gave me like a beginner show, like the July following after that and that's when I did Grimace. And the funny part is so my last name is Grima, that literally is my name, my last name's Grim up. So in March I was like I'm going to do Grimace. It's going to be so stupid. And in June Grimace came back in McDonald's. People thought I was planning it. I picked Grimace before he came back and it lined up with the shake coming out his birthday. I mean I was like what am I a psychic? So I've done Grimace twice. And the cool part is is that the following spring after that I was on infatuation doing Grimace.
Speaker 4:That's so interesting. It's like meta right.
Speaker 3:Yes, it was so cool, I just had a show last Wednesday, this Wednesday, how often are you, uh, performing? I would say I do so much that I do about me. I've done like five shows a year, five to seven shows a year, um, but they're all different. So I was just um. Grimace isn't the only goofy thing I've done. I was crusty the clown, um, I was alice cooper with the way's World, alice Cooper.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I was you loved Frankenstein. Yes, I came out with like Wayne's World puppets at first, and then I was Alice Cooper, and then the last Wednesday I did like a bimbo big boob lady, but like the, the fake boobs I put on were like eight feet across, so that was really fun so like everything's stupid, I love stupid that's fantastic um I have another purple idea for you that's stupid, which is barney and oh my god, people try to um, the trolls try to talk shit about me.
Speaker 2:Because I love purple, they always want to call me barney. I'm like everybody fucking loves barney, you idiot. Like everybody loves barney. I love love you, you love me. Hello, I'm not going to be offended by being called fucking Barney.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's kind of where I come from. I would do burlesque as a whale. How many times have we been called whales?
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 3:I wanted to be a bus once. I just never did that show Hippoo, it's like yeah, narwhal narwhal barney's like that's badass. My favorite color is purple.
Speaker 2:I would do barney oh it turns out, according to the trolls, that all fat women love purple, so just get on it, y'all do you think that's?
Speaker 3:do we all love purple? Here?
Speaker 2:yeah, I love purple. Yeah, I love every color I'm wearing rainbow bright.
Speaker 4:so I mean I have purple hair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they also were real. If you don't have natural color hair, you're probably extremely liberal.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I mean, I had purple hair for a decade. Yes, I'd still have it if I didn't lose all my hair.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah with the cancer, yeah yeah. How long ago was your cancer diagnosis?
Speaker 3:So I finished chemo two years ago. So I was diagnosed like three years ago.
Speaker 2:Very cool, you are a survivor. That's awesome.
Speaker 3:I had to be monitored for three more years.
Speaker 4:Yeah, did you experience medical fat phobia when leading up to it? I mean, was it kind of like I should be dead?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they ignored it and thought, well, leading up to it, I mean, was it kind of like I should be?
Speaker 4:dead yeah. So, they ignored it and thought, well, I'll just lose weight.
Speaker 3:They ignored it for eight months. Well, first of all, I mean I've had medical fat phobia since I was out the womb so I knew something was wrong. I was in a lot of pain. I was working and modeling. I couldn't keep food down. I had no appetite. I was in a lot of pain. I was working and modeling. I couldn't keep food down. I had no appetite. I was losing a lot of weight. My whole torso hurt so I couldn't do as many poses as usual.
Speaker 3:So I went between three doctors like the gastro, the primary, the ER. Everybody was like just work out, work out more, you're losing weight, that's good. And I was like I'm like no, I was like I'm going to be back here in two weeks and I'm going to tell you the same thing. I was like I was getting vertigo, I was having panic attacks. I knew something was wrong with an organ. Because I'm a Reiki master, I knew it was an organ issue. I could kind of see it in a sense.
Speaker 3:So every two weeks I went back to my gastro or my primary and they kept telling me it's because I'm overweight. So I think it took like three months when I walked in and I asked for imaging. Even after the imaging she's like you have a spot on your liver. That can be normal. So I asked for an MRI because she didn't want to give me one. Um, and I was like, well, put it in my chart. If you don't want to give me one, then say that you'd said no to my MRI. And then she's like, oh well, now we can get an MRI.
Speaker 2:It's the best tactic.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, I help a lot of people with their doctor's appointments. Now it's so cool. Where was I Rewind? So my gastro called me personally and that's when I was like uh-oh, and she's like you have a massive tumor and you have to get to a surgeon, and the soonest surgeon was like two months out, so they just wanted to cut it out.
Speaker 3:And I met the surgeon. She said I was like I keep losing weight, like what am I supposed to do? And she's like well, at least you're losing weight. And I said to her I'm like I'm ill and you think it's good that I'm losing weight. And she just didn't say anything.
Speaker 3:So she kind of scheduled me for the spring and I had some questions because I've never had surgery and they cut me open from here to here, the hockey stick. It's like really the 35 stitches this way, and so that was scary. So I asked a few questions and she said you know what? Why don't you get a second opinion if you have so many questions? Wow, so I did in Boston, we'll upgrade. And they were like okay, what did the biopsy say? I'm like they didn't give me one, so that she was like baffled that they didn't even test it yet, so it took. This is like eight months long before they even biopsied me. Yet so it took. This is like eight months long before they even biopsied me. And then we found out it was cancer. My cancer usually kills people within six to 12 months, so I think I was almost to stage three by the time I was open Almost. Yeah, it's just amazing.
Speaker 4:The neglect that happens to folks that have extra fat on their bodies, like it's just.
Speaker 3:And I was progressive. I was like, really I was pushy and it still took that long. When she found, when the first doctor found, the mass, she's like I'm calling the surgeon myself, I know her, I'm going to get you in there, and four days go by I didn't hear from the surgeon. So I called her back and the receptionist was like I have no idea what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Medical fat phobia kills people. People die because of their bullshit.
Speaker 3:And that's very true. And I lived that because I shouldn't be here, right, and I learned that with every doctor I had to call, I'd wait three days. Call them, they didn't do anything. They didn't send that in, they didn't do this, this and this. They didn't schedule that All the offices, any of them I had to call and make sure, yeah, and imagine if you didn't have that kind of advocacy for yourself.
Speaker 4:Exactly, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I mean people. They must be dying Period. Yeah yeah, so it was not fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it was not fun. Yeah, there are some people out there doing the hard work doing talks, like Regan Chastain. She's getting invited to medical schools. She had learned that they only get 12 hours of training for fat bodies the whole time they're in medical school. So she's trying to go out to the different medical schools. So she gets invited by them and goes and talks to them and tells them how dangerous medical fat phobia is and how dangerous it is to always prescribe a fucking diet which we know only works about 3% of the time. So I was just asking the question the other day wouldn't that be like malpractice? If you recommend something that only works 3% of the time that doesn't fly, you're telling people that they're fat though percent of the time that doesn't fly it doesn't.
Speaker 3:If you're telling people that they're fat though, and it's okay, it's true, you know, I mean I always I say I use this, I'm not, I'm not afraid to go to any doctor now, because whatever they tell me, I all. If there is something fat phobic, I just say, okay, if I'm thin, what would you tell me? I used to get anxiety seeing a new doctor and now I'm like, oh, what are they going to tell me? They're working for me.
Speaker 4:So how do you feel like you got to that point, like dying yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that would be it. I mean people. I was very open about my journey because I knew that it could be, it could be happening to someone else right now, but also I think I was open with it. But people only saw about 10% of it. Me and my father had cancer at the same time I'm bringing him to his appointments, I'm doing this, this and this. I'm going through it at the same time. I've still worked. I took like a month to heal. I still was only halfway healed. I had to get back to work.
Speaker 2:Krim? When did you come out as fat? When did you decide that was the word you wanted to use?
Speaker 3:to identify yourself when I wanted to use it and not be called it because it started early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for all of us People gave me that word.
Speaker 3:Oh gosh, probably not that long ago.
Speaker 2:You took it on as your. That's how you identify.
Speaker 3:Maybe my late 20s. I'm 36. Okay, maybe my late 20s.
Speaker 2:So you're like 10 years. That's great. Yeah, I wish people, I wish everybody would embrace that word, because then you take the sting out of it. When somebody calls you that, you're like, yeah, no, shit, dude.
Speaker 3:And people are so surprised I'm like this is not the first time marginalized people have reclaimed a word right, exactly, yeah it's not rocket science here. And when people like, oh, you're not fat, I'm like, I literally am you're beautiful, I'm both bitch yeah, I'm like. I'm like you said it when I wasn't in the room and now it's weird because I said it right okay, I could see my friends, or sometimes they know I love that word and they try to use it.
Speaker 2:But I can see sometimes they're a little trepidatious about it. They're like fat you know, just say it. I mean, there's no denying I'm a fat human. I don't mind that word, I love it. In fact I own it. But I can see they're nervous about saying it. Are they thin?
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, I would say to thin people say fat babe, put a sweet thing on it. Gorgeous fat girl, I love it. Put it with a compliment and maybe they'll be more comfortable with it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I like that approach.
Speaker 3:Me too, I love that.
Speaker 4:So tell us a bit about. You said what am I psychic and I don't know. Do you have any psychic abilities or any fun tarot? You said Reiki. I mean it just sounds like you're, it sounds like you've just done everything. Grim, that's the coolest part of like. Getting to talk to you is like oh yeah, I've tried that.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have a lot of oh if we go into like psychic or holistic business like whoa. Yeah, I'm a tower reader. I am clairvoyant. I do have medium tendencies. I just haven't done it alone yet Cause it freaks me out. I'm a death certified death doula. I can be. I'm a sex doula. I've been in the sex industry a really long time. I'm a Reiki master.
Speaker 3:I mean, if I'm going to do something, I want to be doing it, so I don't half-ass stuff. So when I started charging, like making tarot my business, I was like, well, that's kind of connected to these things, so I better know these things in case it comes up. That's just how I function or how I think. And, um, oh, tarot, that kind of came out of nowhere, to be honest with you, because I wasn't allowed to talk about that stuff growing up. Um, interesting, why weren't you allowed to talk about it? So I'm first generation america, I'm first generation italian. So, um, daughter of immigrants and very strict Roman Catholic, if you want to live here, you're going to church more than once a week. Sometimes I was an altar server till I was 18. I didn't miss church till I was probably 20. I mean it was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I grew up with that, like my mom, speaking in tongues you know, like her mom having prophetic dreams, but I was always told it was a Jesus thing and it's. Just until I moved out of that house and that environment I'm like, oh, that's what all that stuff was.
Speaker 2:When you think back, what age were you at when you started to think? Is there something else going on here for me?
Speaker 3:I always thought it was religious, until probably mid-20s.
Speaker 3:It didn't click. So when I moved out, I was able to get into whatever I wanted to. I went to metaphysical shops, I took classes, I learned about this, this and this and crystals, and someone gifted me a deck. And the origin of tarot is Italian. It's tarot, it's where it originated, so maybe that's why I don't know if that's why I'm so I picked it up so easily something in my DNA, but it took me a minute.
Speaker 3:I literally thought my mom, speaking in tongues, was normal until like 28. Like I had like a moment. I was like, oh my God, it's always been like this. It just had a different title and I didn't talk to her for a very long time. But like a couple of years ago, like she called me once and she's like I had a dream that these two people are back together. I don't know and I'm like that's kind of weird, because they just told me they were like an hour ago. And she's like my mom was like that too and I'm over here like, yeah, I know, I'm aware it's called being psychic, but I'm not gonna say I can't tell her that. Right, this is the trump, mom.
Speaker 4:Remember if that ties that together for you how does the rest of your family see that?
Speaker 3:oh, I have three siblings and they, they're pretty cool. Yeah, we're all pretty. Like we know me and my sister are super weird and my brothers are scientists, but like we understand the weirdness. Uh, nobody judges me. My sister-in-laws know what I do. They're super cool. Um, my dad doesn't ask questions, he's just he's just chilling.
Speaker 2:My friend, my friend, the pro dom, they everybody knows nobody asks her any questions. And then sometimes when she has like family that's a little further away, like they're like they live a little further, they're not so close by when they come in they want to, like, they want to go into the playroom, they look in the closet and stuff and they don't ask any questions, just looking around they don't. I'm like why don't they ask questions?
Speaker 2:because you know they're all from like a midwest and yeah they're surprised that her husband lets her do it, you know oh yeah, that's my pet peeve. Yeah, let's, oh, so yeah it's crazy, yeah I don't nobody lets me do shit.
Speaker 3:I do what I want I just um, I mean, if you want to make money, people are going to find you have to let people find out, period, even. And and it is what it is, I don't care. But when I, when I started just modeling like normal runway modeling, I had an email from my auntie like do you need Jesus? Like you shouldn't be showing a fat body, like cause she's big, all my my aunties are big. She's like like that's what are you doing? Like do you need to come back to the church? And I was like I didn't even do anything yet. I don't know what she would say now.
Speaker 3:She probably wouldn't talk to me, but hey, neither does her daughter, but anyway, I love those family dynamics it breaks my heart because my aunties are all big and they were told not to show anything and they still think that way and it makes me sad and I'm not letting it happen. Another generation period.
Speaker 2:No matter how many black clothes I put on, no matter how much camouflage I put on, you can still tell I'm fat. So why not show off a little bit of it and it's interesting because they always tie it back to sex.
Speaker 3:It's almost like you think at first they're like fat body shouldn't be seen because it's gross. But really what they're saying, if you really listen, they're like what are men going to say to you? Why are you tempting men? I'm like, now I'm sexy. I thought it was gross. Now I'm too hot and I'm tempting men all of a sudden. Which is it? Am I gross or am I hot?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Hot Right and it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. I was 11 in a t-shirt the first time I was hit on, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Same. When I look back sometimes at 20, I'm like, oh God I was so young. Men would drive by and say weird shit or be like jerking off as they're driving by. I'm a little fucking kid. I remember my friend's dad told me once that I had really nice legs, and I was like 12 years old. What the fuck is wrong with you. I felt so icky and, like this old guy just said, I have nice legs. I knew that was wrong. I don't know why, but I knew that was creepy.
Speaker 3:I knew it was wrong without anyone ever telling me yeah, yeah, same I. I don't know if we just a lot of girls have to be an adult so fast yeah, I did. I don't know yeah and I take care of my niece a lot and she's turning 10. You know her boobs are getting sore. That's happened. I'm like, if anybody even looks at this girl, wrong, right, because it's over.
Speaker 4:It's over for them I know you see my niece same thing. It's like you're just seeing this world develop around them while they're developing, and it's just like there's no bubble big enough to protect you in this process, like now yes, and I had I.
Speaker 3:I was this tall and a d cup by 11, so I had my period at nine and I had no guidance. My mom I didn't have a period talk, I didn't have a changing body talk, I didn't have a sex talk. I had nothing there. My mom was like pads are in the cabinet. So I think that might be why I'm hypersexual. Now I want to find out what didn't I know, what don't't people know. Shouldn't this? Shouldn't everybody know this? You know I did the 180.
Speaker 2:Good for you Own it. You're owning it again.
Speaker 4:You just got to do that Well and it's also setting a good example for your niece.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, oh hell yeah, oh, we nip it right in the bud, Cause she's, she's a, she's a beanpole. But she, when she was like five or six, she sat down and she's like my legs get fat when I sit down. I was like, no, um, that's normal. Everybody's like does that this? You know, that's not something that's bad, it's. I'm doing my best, you know she's lucky to have you.
Speaker 2:I, I love her so much. Are you ready to um for me to ask him about the old thin privilege bullshit? Yes, okay, okay. I saw you having a discussion we'll just call a discussion about that I think on your ig, where people don't believe that there's such thing as thin privilege. What do you have to say about that?
Speaker 3:I was. I woke up so angry that, like so angry that when I went to breakfast later I was still mad and I apologize to the waitress. I woke up and read the DMs. I had a DM like saying you know, that's not real. And like, thin people we get made fun of too. And I'm like I didn't say you didn't get made fun of. I said you aren't marginalized. Your doctor didn't misdiagnose you and you almost died because you were thin. Okay, if you're being treated a certain way that you don't like, it's not because you're skinny. That's what I'm saying. So, oh, that that sent, that sent me. I had a fire on my ass when I read that I'm like.
Speaker 3:I'm like I woke up to this.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah you didn't get hired because you're fat. You didn't not go on a date because you're fat. You don't get thrown out of the club. You get free drinks. Sometimes they won't even let fat people into certain clubs.
Speaker 3:I know, and it's even since you were younger. I'm like the principal didn't tell you you couldn't wear that yeah right right, you didn't have to change and we're wearing the same shirt like oh yeah, I've never understood why people feel I.
Speaker 4:I guess that there's either like some sort of I need to feel connected to this person. So I'm going to give you my experience. But the tone deaf response of a thin person saying, well, I get made fun of too, and it's like in this one situation you got made fun of and that's unfortunate. Let's talk about the entire lifespan of me being made fun of, and then we'll have a conversation like this and I don't want to compare like problems. You know like I'm a therapist, so I'm always like don't minimize your trauma.
Speaker 3:but what's bothering me even more is what I'm realizing right now is this person had even more privilege because I recorded my real response and deleted it and made a nicer one. So why did I do that?
Speaker 2:You're helping, you're doing something nice for her.
Speaker 3:I like, literally like, shook your you into consideration making my video yeah well, like I could have just yelled at you, it's like my my girlfriend blonde hair, blue eyes lives in a really fancy area.
Speaker 2:She's so sure she's white that, um, people have been racist against her and I'm like, oh sister, no, you're white we're already at the top of the fight. I don't like you right, exactly, but no, it's the same thing with no, come on, you can't you have to see how shitty people do anything they can to not be fat, everything they can to not be fat until everybody is treated the same.
Speaker 3:I don't want to hear anything from a blue-eyed, thin, blonde lady I really don't know, I hear you.
Speaker 2:That's how I feel too yes, exactly if you're gonna pay me then. Yeah, then I will hear you absolutely, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4:So Grim, we like to do like little fun sex questions, and these are kind of like rapid fire. So I'm going to give you three of them, but you can answer as long as you want, but they're meant to kind of just be a quick response, sort of thing so let's see when you were growing up, did your parents model the fact that sex is normal and healthy? No, give us a verbal highlight reel about your body. A verbal highlight reel Is that what you said?
Speaker 3:Okay, a verbal highlight reel. Oh gosh, heavy fluid, curvy, strong, I'm a strength trainer. I almost said fast, I'm a strength trainer. I almost said fast, I'm not fast. But there's something about I like I can do more than you would think I can. I'm gonna leave it at that. I like that Okay.
Speaker 4:The age old question Does size matter? I elaborate, of course you can.
Speaker 3:Yes, but let me explain. Okay, so I am a size queen I think most big women are, but that's only because you got to get there. We have more to get past, of course, but I don't discriminate. There are many ways to get size Hands, toys, an extender so I don't discriminate, but I need size in some way.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah, so, yes, sorry, like the hands under your cheeks, like I'm sweet sorry about it, that was a very diplomatic answer.
Speaker 2:I've had that experience before where I was like doing everything I could, yeah, I just didn't feel it. I was like happening. No, he loved it.
Speaker 1:I didn't know yeah, very diplomatic.
Speaker 4:Keep going, murph um birthday suit or lingerie birthday suit? Okay, and then the the famous question that we ask at the end of every episode what's your favorite sex toy, sexual aid or thing that makes you feel sexy in the bedroom?
Speaker 3:anything that plugs into the wall. Nice, I'm a hitachi girl. Period f the batteries. Yeah, the batteries aren't strong enough. I don't care what anybody says. Now power hitachi. It's at the bedside every morning. I can add it. Also, I have short arms and I'm curvy, so I need something long you get it.
Speaker 4:We talk about that a lot, yeah, we talk about that a lot yeah.
Speaker 3:I can't reach anything.
Speaker 2:Not without a lot of manipulating.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, so it makes it much easier too, because it's so long Right.
Speaker 2:I just want to bring it back a little bit about to the company of grim and all the things that she does. I, as I was going through all of your pages and your you know socials and your websites, I came across something called beacon ai. Wow, wow, I love that. I never knew about that until today. Yeah, just like it's where all my links are, so it's like linked, except that it's for creators.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because we have so many links and it like you live in one place and that's my favorite. It makes it really easy.
Speaker 2:You know, we were talking about doing a link tree and I was like I just I don't know why, I don't love link tree, but this might be the way for us to go. So yeah, I like beacons better than link tree because everybody can find everything that you're doing on beacon your twitter. That's where I found your twitter, which is where you get to really get to know grim on twitter.
Speaker 3:It's so funny because, like I have it, I didn't like post stuff like that to like this year yeah, well, yeah, I've just I wish elon should just go away.
Speaker 3:I know well, I've been deleted so many times that I have to be on everything, like a lot of people. I think a misconception like really quick a misconception is oh, I want to start OnlyFans and make some money. I'm like do you have 80 hours a week to edit everything? Make a teaser, make an Instagram safe teaser to upload it to all those websites. Put the hashtags in the description and then post this on this one and this one on this one and upload it on this website and schedule it and tag everybody. I'm like people have no clue.
Speaker 2:And don't forget to respond to people. People comment and say because that's what they want right, they want to hear from you.
Speaker 3:When I say I have hundreds of DMs a day, that's just on one platform, okay, so yeah, if you want me to answer it, pay me.
Speaker 2:Always.
Speaker 3:And so I stopped telling them that now. So when people are like, oh, I want to try that, I'm like, go for it, have a great time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, there's no way to get through to them if they don't understand it. I mean, just having any kind of presence on social media is so much fucking work, so I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 1:But you're able to make a living right.
Speaker 2:You string everything together and that's kind of what helps you to get through your day financially and personally.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a lot. It's your business. However much you think it is, it's probably times 50.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hope so. Times 100.
Speaker 3:I make it look easy yeah no doubt yeah.
Speaker 2:So tell people what would you like them to know about you from this particular interview, and then also where people can find you, because that's the most important we want our community to be able to find you too.
Speaker 3:Okay, of course I mean. The takeaway from this and everything I do is that fat people need representation, and I'm especially like I'm all belly, I'm not flat, tummy, hip, bbl. So when I say fat people, I mean visibly fat people can be in any space sex burlesque, and burlesque in its sense is usually pretty body positive. I experienced fat phobia at burlesque. So, um, if I'm still experiencing fat phobia, then I need to keep working. So, and and the takeaway is anybody can do it. It doesn't matter what you look like literally, it doesn't matter what you look like, someone's going to be into it um, my favorite thing to say is all men need is a warm, wet place to put it.
Speaker 2:That's the truth, unless they're like Twitter maybe they want dry True true.
Speaker 3:But even if it's not for money, you deserve to be represented in a space. If you think you're not, I don't look good or this, who cares?
Speaker 2:A lot of fat babes think they're not going to be able to meet anybody. And I'm like sister, you don't even understand.
Speaker 3:Yes, you're everywhere and and it's so much. It's just how you, if you're confident or not, um, because even when we look for a partner, I don't really, I don't have a type. But if you're confident and funny and respectful and you're not ignorant, I mean, then that's attractive. If you are uncomfortable, you're talking down on yourself. I don't want to do the labor. I'm not your mother.
Speaker 2:No, don't be mean.
Speaker 3:So it doesn't matter what size you're at, it's how you carry your aura. People think I'm really tall. I'm five, three and a half. Are you really? Yes, and I'm like it's because of my vibe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 3:Also, I'm Italian. I don't know how tall they think I was going to get, but it's definitely how you carry yourself. And if there's one more thing I could say is like if you're fat and on a dating website, please show your body. Yes, please show your body. If it's just your face, I swear I'm gonna come in your dms and yell at you show it, show it the right person.
Speaker 2:They show all my kids what they're gonna be meeting in person. Oh yeah, so you have a boyfriend or a partner? I do amazing, that's crazy. Everybody here has one too, and some of us have multiple partners. So I wish sometimes yeah, I wish you would get through your head that I don't know, if I look at a lineup of 100 men, I might be attracted to five, so why would I be offended if they look at a group of 100 women and they're not attracted to me?
Speaker 3:I might not even be attracted to another thing yeah, like you don't have to like me unless I you know we're dating yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, but like I don't expect everybody to be attracted to me you know, I always say, like the one thing I would I would empathize with a thin blonde woman is that she doesn't know who really likes her.
Speaker 3:No, because I show up fat with tattoos on my head and I just narrowed it down by like 70 and this poor girl is lost. How did you meet your partner? Oh, we've. So we've been together for 13 years and, um, we met because we both had worked at the same place okay, it was this hot boy and, um, I was super awkward and weird, but so was he and it took us like a few years to even start hanging out like, but I got him. He's an angel, he's a good boy, he's excellent.
Speaker 4:And you both had. Like you did film, he did photography, yeah he helps out a lot.
Speaker 3:He's just super supportive. I don't have to, he just gets it. He's very calm, nothing like rattles him and I'm like all over the place. Yeah, I can't date someone who's also anxious. Oh, my god been there.
Speaker 4:But yeah, he's great, he's my baby, yeah well, tell us where they can find you grim, oh right so I mean, I'm every most things, I'm just griminator on everything.
Speaker 3:So twitter's griminator, instagram's griminator, my tiktok I deleted so often. It's just silly, but it's still Griminator, just doing silly, stupid things over there. Of is Griminator, like really, you'll find me. I tried to really streamline that the best I could and the beacon one is beacons with an S or no S. I believe it's beaconsai slash reminator yeah um, sometimes I go by grimzotic. I haven't told anybody about that, but I guess I just did grimzotic.
Speaker 4:So yeah, that's my, my husband, peeking in in the background.
Speaker 2:Can you see that? I just saw his face.
Speaker 4:I didn't see it tell him hi, james, you might as well peek your head in, you guys. The reason I know, james is like lurking is because he's like obsessed, so I know. Then he knows like, oh, she's filming. I better go in there and say like get a peek just it's a great peak yeah it's a pretty good peak, james, the microphone's in way.
Speaker 1:But there are wonderful pumpkin boobs. He says oh well, I can see it Too funny, he's great.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much for your time, Grim. We really enjoyed getting to chat with you and we know our audience is going to rally around you and find you on all the socials and add you and, um, yeah, when you go to uh Exotica, say hi to the BBW XXX adventures. Amazon, Amanda will be there. I'll be there, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, I love what you do, I really appreciate what you do, that you're. You really help, I'm sure, other people to embrace their bodies and embrace their fat and don't let it be a hurdle, don't let it be in your way. It's over 70% of the population is fat. We are the majority. So I really am grateful for you and I appreciate everything that you do. So, and thank you so much for being here with us today too.
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you, and I, I mean, I appreciate everything you're doing. We're all doing it. Yep, yeah, we're all on the same level. We're all doing the same thing, and every, every one of us is doing something that's just as important as the other. Fat liberation, yeah, and community, community, yeah. Thank you so much. This was awesome. Which one Do you want to?
Speaker 2:tell people where they can find us?
Speaker 4:Yes, you can find us at big sexy chat on all the social links and if you wanted to send us an email, if you had feedback you wanted to give us about this episode or questions that you may have, it is BigSexyChatPod at Gmail. So like subscribe, share do all the things. Go to Grimm's page. Like subscribe, share do all the things. We appreciate you all.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you everybody, see you later.
Speaker 4:Alligator after a while crocodile toodle baby poodle.
