Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat: 2 Rad Fatties Unapologetically Sitting Around Chewing the Fat!
Current Events, Hot Topics, Viewer Questions, and Vibe of the Week. Fat Politics, TV Shows with fat characters, ditching diet culture, #sexnotdiets, sex, sex toys, relationships, mental wellness, sex toy reviews, cannabis, cbd, medical fatphobia, glorifying fat bodies, movies, current events, hot topics, fashion, lingerie, Black Lives Matter, and pretty much anything under the big fat sun! Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Fat And Fabulous: From Influencers To TV Show Takedowns
Shifting gears, we tackle the complex intersection of body image and celebrity influence. Our discussion zeroes in on the backlash faced by Lizzo, who finds herself in hot water for promoting weight loss, seemingly contradicting her earlier body positivity advocacy. We ponder the pressures placed on celebrities like Gabourey Sidibe, whose personal health choices ignite public debate and highlight the ongoing tension between personal autonomy and public expectation. The conversation encourages listeners to reflect on the societal implications these high-profile narratives hold for the fat liberation community.
We conclude by celebrating the often-overlooked voices of plus-size men in fashion and society. Figures like Bruce from Chubster, Big Burr, and Jeff Jenkins are pushing boundaries, proving that joy and confidence do not conform to size. However, we also caution against the recent shift among some influencers towards fitness-focused content in the Ozempic era. Throughout, we emphasize the importance of allyship and authentic representation, championing influencers and organizations that are reshaping the narrative around body image. Join us as we advocate for a more inclusive future, where everyone, regardless of size or shape, is celebrated and respected.
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Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, cbd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy.
Speaker 3:Hey there, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. My name is Crystal and today I have the privilege of having the lovely Ashley with us, who you might know as our editor and producer, and also, of course, my lovely co-host, merv Hi Al Hi, hi.
Speaker 2:Hi, that's right. Back at it again.
Speaker 3:Work about tonight for sure. Lots of going on in the fat world.
Speaker 2:We do and I think you know, it's one of those things where we took some concepts, some ideas and put them all together to kind of do a fat liberation pop culture discussion. Amen, I love it.
Speaker 4:Well, and it's been a while. I mean we have had a couple episodes where we talk about media and what's happening in the fat world out there in the fat community. We haven't done that in a while, so we thought it'd be nice to bring that back so everyone can kind of hear what's going on.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. Did you see that Michelle Buteau is back at it again with survival of the thickest too?
Speaker 4:whoa, I did not tell me about it murph.
Speaker 2:So we have a second season of that amazing show, survival of the thickest. It was on netflix. Um, probably one of the most intelligently written shows. That is like a romantic comedy but really clearly showing body diversity, the characters there. It was very clear that there was the concept of anti-fatness in the world that she works in. World that she works in, she had some confidence, stuff that kind of took away from her life and then realized that that wasn't what was going to make her happy and changed her outlook, changed her behavior and really just started to thrive in the body that she's in, and so I am so looking forward to season two. I love the relationship that she has in that show. There's all these little different dynamic side stories with the other characters. It's going to be exciting.
Speaker 3:I love the other characters of that show.
Speaker 4:Has there been anything that kind of tells us what the second season is going to be about? Is it going to be different from the first season?
Speaker 2:Everything that I've seen has just kind of been like a continuation of their individual lives. You know, I think there was kind of a way that they put a bow on it if they didn't get a second season, but definitely the doors open if they wanted to continue with those stories, and it looks like that's what they're going to do. They may even introduce some new characters.
Speaker 3:I need all of Hollywood, whoever makes these shows, stop making 10 episodes. I need 23, like the old days. Right, I know they do that to test. I'm like I love it, I love it. Don't let it go away and please give her another season. Did you see that somebody, somewhere, they're going to stop making more episodes? It was also a great show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love bridget. It was such a good show too. It had a really great representation of queer culture and didn't make the story about her fatness and it was a really dynamic like I thought it was really going somewhere. I was super disappointed to see that they canceled.
Speaker 3:Me too. I love me some Bridget Everett.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and speaking of shows making things about their fatness, I don't know if you guys have seen or heard of Grotesquery, but it's a new Ryan Murphy show and he's the one who does American Horror Story and a ton of other things. Um, the grotesque gray on the surface is an incredible show and I was. I was so excited because there is a fat character on there and she's like she's, she's big, I mean, she's like really a genuinely fat person. Her name's Raven. Her, her real name is raven. She plays a character named merit and I and they made her smart too. So, like she's smart, she shows a lot of skin, like.
Speaker 4:It starts off with her in like tiny little shorts and like a crop top and I'm like, yeah, get it merit. And then outside, like, right after it establishes that she is this fucking smart, smart ass person. Just, she's smart, she's witty, she's great, she's beautiful. It immediately gets into her having an eating disorder, an addiction to food, yep thing. Her entire character at that after that point is about her being fat and her eating so much and her weight and her way and like and they made a point of being like of her mom in the show, going like she weighs 250 pounds and I'm like are you fucking kidding me? Really, this is what we're doing. Really. I am ryan murphy. I am disappointed. I am disappointed, I mean, and it's, it's not exactly like he is a is a fat, uh, ally in any way, shape or form, and and I think fat phobias and biases have really been a common theme in a lot of- it's been done a million times.
Speaker 3:Bring us something new and different. Like like Bridget Everett and Michelle Buteau and the Empire Ways show. It's so trite, it's like making a fat joke. It's so lazy.
Speaker 4:Right, well, and it's just, it's a constant. Right, well, and it's just, it's a constant. I mean, it's like you have the opportunity to really make a smart, sexy, beautiful character out of this person and instead you're like, well, she's got to have an eating disorder because her mom's an alcoholic and her dad's a sexaholic. So what can we give them? A child who has an eating disorder, and oh, she's going to overeat. And it's like, could you not, could you fucking not? Like I'm glad that they made her smart. I'm yeah, it is, it's a lazy and it's just, it was so disappointing. I love the show, except for every single thing that has to do with her eating stuff. Well, I think of, like the name of the show.
Speaker 2:Like you can't, if you're gonna have the name of the show be a grotesquery, and then you're going to make a very obvious like character plot line be about fatness and anti-fat, like, and you make that person do something that's grotesque. It's like are you trying to be meta here or are you just being a dick?
Speaker 4:right, yep, and that's I was. I saw. It's just. It's so frustrating that, like we've come so far in fat liberation and we've seen so many other shows and so much in culture and media where they're starting to be acceptance, where we've gotten sexy characters, where we've gotten regular people and we don't have to address their fatness, and then we here in 2024 are going oh well, let's put a really smart, beautiful character on here, but let's make it so that way she has a severe eating disorder and that's her entire personality. So tired.
Speaker 3:Do you remember when this Is Us came out? People like Crystal and that's her entire personality. So tired. Do you remember when this Is Us came out, people were like Crystal, you're going to love this show. The woman that's the lead, she's fat. She's like obviously fat, and there's no denying that she's fat and she's beautiful. And I'm like, uh-huh, okay, I'll try it. And then, of course, first episode all the food in her refrigerator has little post-it notes. This post-it notes, this is too fattening. This is all chocolate. This is no, no, no. I'm like that's not good. That's very tired. It's been done a couple million times and I couldn't even watch it anymore because it's so trite.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think what these folks that are making these shows you know, obviously they're very popular people, they have a following. You have the opportunity to really be an ally and change the narrative and yet you still go back to that same old, tired playbook. And it's disappointing because you could gain an audience in which your business would thrive, and it's just sad to see that they don't recognize that or that they don't care Fat people are extremely loyal.
Speaker 3:I mean, I know, every time I go to the mall I stop by Lane Bryant. You know it's like if you have that kind of brand you're going to have so many loyal clients. But it's like we always do two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back. It's like things are going great and then all of a sudden, ozempic hits the world, you know, and then we're like making in rows and people are stopped talking about dieting. And then all of a sudden, here comes Ozempic. Now all of the media is about dieting again.
Speaker 4:Right, well, and media controls so much of our societal understanding and the impact that it has is enormous. So it's like if you have those opportunities, you could be somebody who changes it. You could be somebody who permanently changes the narrative, so that way there's more and more and more of it which is the direction we were going, and then all of a sudden it's it's not anymore. But it's like this is where it changes, like, yeah, we can have all these anti-diet things, we can have all these things out there that we are, that we, the fat community, push out to try to help change the narrative. But the more allies we have that are putting things out and creating shows and creating things to make it, to normalize the fact that what the average body size in America is 14, 12, 18. Great, even better, the fact that that is the truth but that's not what we see just continues to keep this narrative going and it's just so problematic and so harmful.
Speaker 2:We're the majority, y'all. I was at a leadership conference on one of the things that one of the seminars was about anti-racism in health care and the speaker explained that allies are one of the most powerful tools to utilize to change things, because the majority of people won't listen to the minority that is being stepped upon. But if you have an ally that has a base, that has a following and they choose to speak on the issue that you have, you're more likely to get a more positive response and someone that will actually listen to the message. And so to hear, like you know, we're seeing this resurgence of diet culture. We're seeing this resurgence of just like influencers being disgusting and pushing, you know, wellness quote unquote, you know all this kind of stuff where it's just like you're feeding us the same shit in a different package. Well, they say right.
Speaker 3:anti-fatness is rooted in white supremacy, like almost everything, and yeah, it gets a little it's so annoying.
Speaker 2:One of the things I was thinking of with this resurgence is the Victoria's Secret fashion show. It is back, baby, with those little angel wings and all the skinny girls walking the runway, and here comes Ashley Graham which is amazing Our one normal bodied person.
Speaker 2:Yes, she's gorgeous but she is not what we're talking about when we're talking about fat liberation. What we're talking about when we're talking about fat liberation and Victoria's Secret is well known for their problematic behavior, the lack of inclusion in their sizing. Not too long ago, before COVID started, there was a big push to say, hey, you know, you need to include plus-size bodies, and they were very much like fingers in the air. We don't care Then. Now we're back to it and it's the same shit in a different package. And I'm not hating on Ashley Graham. I think she's fabulous. I think it's a great start for opening people's eyes. But when we're talking about a major brand like Victoria's Secret that has the audience to do good and they choose not to, you're setting everybody back she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Speaker 3:That was very exciting, but they don't really show people who have an apple-shaped body or a kiwi-shaped body. I don't really like the shrewd analogy, but it paints a picture. When you're listening to a podcast. She looks like an hourglass and so, yeah, she's a bigger hourglass, but she's still an hourglass, and a lot of us aren't. A lot of us have more fat in the middle. We don't have the waistline or you know whatever, and or the booty, you know she does, but um, yeah, it's. Um, it's unfortunate because they went away for a little while and now they're just going to be come back like nothing ever happened.
Speaker 3:I don't know we're still paying attention. I could still look all that shit up. It's still google.
Speaker 4:Google-able. Well, I mean, that's what happens when anybody faces anything, because that's kind of how right Hollywood and whatnot works. It's like, oh crap, I'm in trouble, I'm going to go away for a little while and then I'll just come back and they'll forget what happened, because you know, the memory is not great.
Speaker 2:I think you should say that, ashley. There's one little, uh fat influencer, that, who said that they were gonna go away for a little bit and then has come back and lost a lot of weight. Oh, do tell who made that beamer. Um, her name starts with an l has some z's in it Um her name starts with an L has some Z's in it.
Speaker 2:Oh, does it rhyme with shizzo? Yes, so Lizzo has gotten into some trouble. There was some statements made from people in her camp that said, you know, she was not being kind about body sizes and sexual stuff, which was disappointing. But I think all of us kind of took a step back and said, well, let her, you know, let her address this. And she didn't. And the response was I'm going to take a break. So she took a break and I think she's still supposed to be in that break, like from recording or you know, doing anything other than she's still supposed to be in that break like from recording, or you know, doing anything other than she's back on social media showing us that she has a new diet and it includes meat and all these things that she wasn't doing cheese and proteins and all this stuff because she was vegan and now she's lost a bunch of weight and is doing these videos of what she has as her diet.
Speaker 3:It's very disordered, eating-esque to me. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, but the moment you get that obsessed about food and also I see what I see for her a lot is exercising and her workout and that kind of thing, which is, you know, fantastic. Good on you. If you like moving, go for it, but it all seems a little problematic, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, and I just don't understand the need to show what you're eating like that. You know she did that when she was vegan, don't get me wrong. You know she was showing that like, oh, you can do, but people hadn't really seen vegan food like that and so that was different. But now we're back to that same old playbook of the nonsense of oh, this is what I eat, and she hasn't said like, well, I've lost all this weight, but she's like I'm feeling better and I'm and everyone's on. You know all the anti-fatness rhetoric of you're on Ozempic, this is not real, blah, blah, blah. So even even if she isn't on those things and all of that, she's still promoting the culture of being on a diet and doing. You know, doing this for kind of like shoving it in the face of the fat liberation community that she built her audience on.
Speaker 4:She sure did yeah, um, yeah I mean, her whole company is based on that, like all of her queer clothing, like everything was based on fat babes, it being okay to be big and being beautiful and it not. You're not needing to fix anything and it's like oh, I'm so much better now that I'm smaller.
Speaker 3:And she does all hard work and discipline. Right. That's what all the celebrities that go on Ozempic or Majorna or whatever or Govee hard work and discipline, then later they go. Okay, well, actually I was using Ozempic, they're embarrassed about it, or whatever. I'm like, you know what you do you.
Speaker 2:It's your body, but don't act like it was all hard work and discipline. Come on now, just be truthful. You're just you're sell. You're selling shit like. You're just not being transparent and the audience will find that we live in a age where you can't hide that stuff. Like that's going to come to light. You've told someone you know like you have a publicist or you have a whatever, and you're going to come to light. You've told someone you know like you have a publicist or you have a whatever and you're going to do something at some point. That's going to piss that person off. And then here comes the entire sordid details and it's just like OK, well, you know, we all sat on the sidelines and watched this happen. Yet how many other people were influenced by that and harmed from you making those decisions? To state those things.
Speaker 3:She does have a platform, and so when you have a platform, you got to be really aware what you're putting out there, because you could be harming people and it could cause disordered eating or eating disorders in people If they. First we felt like we're supposed to be, you know, like we were supposed to love our bodies and feel beautiful at our size, and then suddenly you're thinner. Well, so you're just bullshitting us yeah, but I'll take all that money.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, that's happened a lot and you know the 15 years or so that I've been involved in fat liberation I am. At the beginning. I had a hard time, you know, trying to reconcile with, like when Gabourey Sivide had her weight loss surgery. Again, it's her body to do whatever she wants. I think she's an amazing actress, I love her, I love following her and her twins and stuff. But it's like, okay, how do I feel about this?
Speaker 3:Because she was kind of like making money maybe not quite as directly as some of these other people, these other influencers, but she had a big following of fatties and it was so nice to see someone fat and black on television, on mainstream TV, so rare and then all of a sudden not that she's thin now either, but it was a big deal when she had her weight loss surgery. And they're like any intentional weight loss is really considered anti-fat. Now, if you lose weight because you're sick or you whatever change in your life, but if you're like going out there, definitely you want to make your body smaller, well then you're saying that fat bodies are not relevant and fat bodies are not okay.
Speaker 2:And I don't understand why there's this need to show that. You know, like I don't know how many times I've seen people do before and after photos and it's like, if this is about health, if this is about whatever it is you're claiming to be, I want to feel better, I want whatever. Then post the picture of yourself. Now I'm feeling great. Look at I'm doing this, I'm feeling good. Blah, blah, blah. I don't need to see. I was here and now I'm here. Because guess what? At some point you're going to either get to that middle ground between those two pictures or you're going to go back to the fat picture and you're telling everybody that your worth is different from here to here. And I'm just sick and tired of hearing that constant messaging of it's about my health, it's about my health. Well, if it was about your health, there would be no comparison.
Speaker 2:You would just simply be posting a picture of yourself.
Speaker 4:I think what makes me sad because I see that a lot. I think in general we say that a lot with women, and I have seen it the most myself with men. Like I have a lot of male friends, cis male friends who are very near and dear to me, who only feel like they're valuable if they are smaller. They don't feel like they're valuable at their size, they don't feel like they're sexy at their size, and I have so many, so many before and afters and so many long stories and diatribes about how, when they were fatter, no women would talk to them and then, as soon as they started losing weight, all of a sudden women talked to them, which is reinforcing the stereotype and this idea and this narrative in their minds that they're only valuable when they're smaller. They have to fit a certain stereotype. And so I think and I'm saying this as a segue because you know we we talk a lot about, we've talked about these influencers who are losing weight and making that kind of again their their whole platform.
Speaker 4:But there are some other people out there, and even for men, who are doing this and doing it well and showing it a positive, a positivity to the fact that they are fat and they can be hot in a fat body and it's not. Like it's not. Oh well, it's okay, Cause he's a fat hot guy, but I'm a fat guy and I'm not hot. No, no, no, no, no, you don't understand. Like it is hot, it doesn't matter, Like that's not, that's not the thing, it's not. Like, oh, he's got a prettier face than you. Like, drop that You're. You're hot because you're hot Doesn't matter that your body is fat or not. But we have, we found these guys and I want Murph, I want you to tell me about them, because I want you to tell everyone about them, because the hot fat guy club sounds amazing and I think that everyone should have a hot fat guy club Like that just sounds great, you know he's on Tik TOK.
Speaker 2:Um, he has he's a very progressive, um smart, kind um influencer and um he has the hot fat guy club and um, will you know, address anti-fatness. When he sees it he has really positive messaging out to people. He'll be like hey, what's up, all you fat sexy motherfuckers, let's go, let's get that bread today. You know like he's motivating, he's, he's got a good sense of humor and I think it's been a really positive influence for not only just fat liberationists in general, but especially for individuals who identify as male, because you don't have a lot of fat influencers that are readily out there talking about the things that affect the individuals who identify as male. It's just not one of those things You'll hear. Hear them say like it's just about the fat females, like that's the only thing they're talking about, or blah, blah, blah. He doesn't do that. He just says like let's talk about all the fat people, but especially the ones that identify as male, y'all think we have it bad when it comes to buying clothes.
Speaker 3:You should see what it's like out there. For big and tall men it's a nightmare. There's nothing. And if they do find something, it's going to be a graphic t-shirt with a big dog on the front of it. It's so awful. I feel terrible for that. But don't forget about the OG. One of the first male fat influencers that I knew about and still know about is Bruce from Chubster, and he has a podcast called Heavy Conversations, and he's been around for at least 15 years or more out there finding fashion, finding fat fashion, all kinds of fat guys in all his photo shoots different sizes, tall, short, all very diverse, very progressive. His blog is so fun. His podcast is great too. We should really have him on sometime because he's really wonderful.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would love that. That'd be so fun. And speaking of hot fat guys and continuing this, what about? We talked at a fat com? We talked to Big Burr, and that man is tall and big and beautiful and fashionable. He's hot he is and he's local to me. He's in Portland and man.
Speaker 3:So is Chepster. Bruce from Chepster is in Portland.
Speaker 4:Hey, listen, all the, all, the all, not all so many great fatties are here in Portland.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying If you wanted to relocate, I was going to say I think it's time to like consider relocating.
Speaker 3:We'll have to see what happens here in November.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, Boy boy, that's great. I uh, I really think that you know, having these male influencers that are fat liberationists really kind of sets the stage for that ally discussion, even though they're not technically having to be allies because they're living in these communities. But like Jeff Jenkins who does, yeah, like it just goes to show you like you can go out and do all these incredible things that are just like amazing and once in a lifetime experiences, and you can do it in a fat body.
Speaker 3:He's stinking adorable. I love his everything. I just want to squeeze him. I love his energy. He's so full of joy. He does it all. He has no fear. He's just done everything that you would think, oh my God, I could never do that. He's done it. What's the name of his show? I can't remember he was on National Geographic.
Speaker 3:His name is Jeff Jenkins, right? He's so adorable and I'm guessing he's over six feet tall. They even made a wetsuit for him, which is not easy to find when you're over a size 10. Good luck, and he let them put him on television and just went for it. He's so great, he's so joyful.
Speaker 2:Never say never on National Geographic.
Speaker 3:He's so cute. I could listen to him all day long. I want him to just get his wife involved.
Speaker 2:I think it'd be so fun to follow them both around yeah, I agree so one of the things when we're talking about um influencers, you know, I think let's talk about the ones that have been making headlines in the fat community, as I'm a fat liberationist or I accept all bodies and now it's the era of Ozempic and we've got a lot of people changing who they are and what they look like, and the content of their influencing has shifted and it's no longer about plus size fashion or about it's. I'm at the gym. This is what my daily gym routine looks like. I'm now showing you what I eat in a day and what way protein I add to my you know drink in the morning or all the things. Who have you seen what has been kind of like on your mind with those individuals?
Speaker 3:rebel wilson comes to mind instantly for me. And then, um, oprah, we poor oprah, I mean she's never gonna love her body, I don't think. But um, yeah, and I also remember. I'm just gonna say I think we should have, uh, a podcast where we do a series, we take photos of our, our bowel movements. Let's put that's put that out there with I'm going to eat this way and I'm like nobody gives a shit. I don't give a shit about your shits, I don't give a shit about what you eat, I just don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think that I think that a lot of people really want that, that attention that says, like I'm being a good fatty, look at me. And for those of you that are like good fatty, what are you talking about? You know there's this acceptable form of fatness and that is the fatness that is trying to become thin, and so if you're on that mission or you're living that lifestyle or whatever, then you are quote unquote a good fatty Like you are working to change yourself, to be what you know the thin person that lives inside of you, whatever that bullshit narrative that is. The bad fatties are the folks that are just like I'm fat, I'm going to live my life, I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do.
Speaker 2:Like I'm fat, I'm going to live my life, I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do, and I don't give a shit if you don't like the fact that I want to lay in bed today and I don't want to go to the gym Unapologetically fat, exactly If I'm going to be like I'm eating McDonald's and that's what I'm going to have and I'm not going to like sit there and tell you like, oh, and I made this salad and I only use this kind of olive oil because you know, it's just, it's maddening and it's so sad to see that people that build their platforms to be inclusive and say all these things then let it fall to the wayside. For the, the bullshit complimentary like good for you, girl. Look at you, you're changing everything. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 3:Like I don't know how many times we have to have this conversation, but it sure is getting old you know, when you were talking about allies and stuff earlier, I remember what I was going to say, which is, if you have, if you're a fat person and you need some allyship, it's important to have a thin ally, because people believe thin people more than they believe fat people, because they're sure that our information is not trustworthy because, well, clearly, I don't have any discipline around my body or whatever the F they think you know.
Speaker 4:That's. It's so true. And I mean the thing is, with all of it, with all of that, specifically, if you're a thin person and you can go on social media or go anywhere and shove 800 hamburgers in your face and have nobody say anything to you because you appear small, so you appear quote unquote healthy, like that's the thing, If anyone of us did that, we would be immediately shamed. But if we like, the thing is we should be able to do the same thing that a thin person is doing and be treated the same way for it, because no one's shaming the thin people for going out and eating whatever the fuck they want.
Speaker 4:I have seen so many, so many, so many things where people are just, you know, oh, I'm going to go to this restaurant and I'm going to go to this fast food restaurant and then go to this fast food restaurant, I'm going to eat like 10 different junk food places today.
Speaker 4:It doesn't matter, it's just bizarre. But like my very personal, I mean like my dad used to do the concern shaming thing, you know, or he's like oh, I'm just worried about your size. You just look fatter and fatter every time I see you and telling my stepbrother, who is a thin, like very, very, very fit person was like hey, just so you know, like this is the stuff that's going on for her body. This is something she can't control. But also it doesn't take away her value and my dad's like oh well, I'm sorry, it shouldn't have gotten to that. You should believe me because I'm your daughter. But it takes, it takes a thin person to say this other thing in order for somebody to accept it and it's like when are we going to get out of that point? Like when are we just going to start believing?
Speaker 3:I used to be a little bit in still in the good fatty, bad fatty thing. In the very beginning of my foray into fat liberation I thought, yeah, trolls F, you, I'm fat, but I'm also healthy. You should see my numbers, my blood pressure. And then finally I was like, oh wait, I shouldn't have to describe any of that to you. It doesn't matter, I still deserve dignity and respect. Even if I'm the unhealthiest person on the planet, I should still be treated like a fucking human. So I had to get myself out of the. Well, I'm a good fatty. I had to break that out of my brain because it was stuck in there for a while.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. It's reinforced all the time. They put morality for food. It's like food doesn't have moral value, but you know, I sure was bad because I had that donut today. It's like, ok, well, if you believe that you live in and if you choose to change the way that you consume food or the types of food, or moving your body or whatever it is, it doesn't matter. The value that you have remains consistent, as long as you're a good person and you're not harming others.
Speaker 4:Well, and as far as like length of life and everything else, remember when we talked with Dr Roberts. There is not, and we've said itming others. Well, and as far as like length of life and everything else. I remember when we talked with Dr Roberts there is not, and we've said it on here multiple times there is not a single disease that is exclusive to fat people. That's in. People don't also experience and there is nothing that says you're going to die sooner just because you're fat.
Speaker 3:Not a single thing out, there we live longer.
Speaker 4:Well, the not a single thing out there. We live longer what we had. Well, the thing is like I I think that a lot of it is like how much, how much joy you're getting out of life, how much you're stressing, and like stress is the number one killer for everything.
Speaker 2:According to the number one cause, right?
Speaker 4:so it's like it has nothing to do with what you're eating. Like you can be out there eating, you know, chicken and salad, kale all day, right, okay, like that's all I eat and I have my protein shakes. Cool, you're probably still gonna die at 60. Just because that's because you're stressing about it all the time, you're focused on that all the time, you're not enjoying life, and that's the thing I was like. You have to just be able to enjoy life. And if we're ashamed constantly, if we're having these stereotypes in this narrative forced at us all the time, that's why people are changing what they're doing. That's why they're hopping back on board the diet train.
Speaker 4:That's why they're doing all this stuff because then it's acceptable. I'm like, okay, well, now I can exist, I guess, in the body that I am, but you're still not enjoying life. At one point are you just going to enjoy your life and stop stressing about what everyone else fucking thinks of you?
Speaker 3:Look at my parents. They're in their 70s. They're still on and off diets all the time. They just can't let it go. One time my friend had her blood work done. I had my blood work done about the same time. She's extremely thin. She runs all the time yada, yada, yada, and then my blood work was better than hers, whatever lower, and she's like I don't understand CB. I see you eat pizza.
Speaker 2:I go, I eat whatever I want. Maybe that's why I go, aren't you happy for me? Well, yeah, but it's not fair. I'm like, oh okay, yeah, great, friend, that's it right there. It's not fair. I'm doing all the good, acceptable things and you're not Just enjoy my pizza. That's the essence of trolls, right? Yeah, I think you know talking about the GLP-1 influencer celebrity train that we're on right now. I mean, you're seeing it from, you know, Kelly Clarkson, Mindy Kaling, James Gordon. Like it's just these people that have platforms and have the ability to really have a list or influence for good oh, you have a list.
Speaker 3:go go. Chrissy metz, james corden he's gained his weight back and now he's doing intermittent fasting. Lizzo, uh, sharon osborne, her daughter kelly osborne is that her name? Yep, um, let's see. Chelsea handler, um, oprah, of course, um, whoopi Goldberg Elon Musk went on it, he's still hideous. Khloe Kardashian, rebel Wilson, kelly Clarkson there's so many. And yeah, chrissy Metz, though she's not admitting it, she just said hard work and dedication. Maybe she's telling the truth, maybe.
Speaker 2:It's interesting because hard work and dedication wasn't working for her. The truth Maybe it's interesting because hard work and dedication wasn't working for her. When they told her she had to lose it on the show Yep, and put it into her contract Yep. Maybe she realized like she had to work so much harder. I don't know. It's disappointing.
Speaker 2:I think that you know we have to now consume different types of media and we have to recognize and consciously make a choice to stop following or engaging with these people that are truly trying to continue the stereotypical bullshit that keeps us stuck where we're at. And the way that we do that is we change our feeds, we change the algorithm. That means that you follow people that don't look like you, that you follow people that maybe it makes you uncomfortable to look at them, so that you start to expose yourself to these different stories, to these different body types, to these different lifestyles and see how the shit that you have built your belief system on really is just a house of cards. And if you take that time to invest in other types of fat-positive media, you're going to have a shift in your mindset.
Speaker 3:It really helps your mental health if you follow other fat people, and fat people have all persuasions and get the people that diet a lot out of your feed, because it's really bad for your mental health. And I wanted to say this when we were talking about Victoria's Secret. But the Full Seek your Fashion show got a lot of heat because there was very little fat representation. Full Seek your Fashion Show Fashion Week, very few fatties this year and it was getting really amazing because it was getting to be a lot of fatties and now, like you said, everything is going backwards, back to the diet culture bullshit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I just I don't recognize how people don't see how harmful it is. There's so many just blinders put on that. This quote unquote wellness industry is just a new branding Like it's the same fucking tired shit packaged in a different box, and they fall for it every single time. Who's?
Speaker 3:the one you were telling us about earlier. I think she's not necessarily fat, but she's the one that eviscerates the stupid men online Drew Afualo, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, she is. She's an influencer. She got really famous on TikTok because these guys would go to her page and make fun of her and she would then go to their page, get a screenshot of them or a video of them, then make an entire body diversity, fat liberation, like let people live the lives that they want to live, let them have the bodies that they have, and fuck you if you have any comment to say on mine or anybody else's. And she is like she's becoming a massive icon for this newer generation of just. It's unacceptable for you to have these types of beliefs and behaviors. And not only will you know, people are like oh well, you know, kill him with kindness or whatever. She's like, fuck you If you, if you chose to be violent to me, then expect me to be violent back to you. Like that is just how this is going to play.
Speaker 2:And she has a bestselling New York Times novel out right now about this process and how she got there and she's just incredible. I mean, she's the ally that we've been talking about. People will say, oh, she's fat, she's like six foot, something ridiculously muscular. She's like Samoan. She's just this, goddess right, and she's thick. I mean, if you were talking about the stereotypical thick girl, that's her. But somebody who advocates for everybody is somebody I can get behind. I want to make her my best friend. Seriously, she's got these long ass nails. She's just fun. She's fun. She has this really high-pitched laugh and guys give her so much shit about it, so she'll start out her videos going like Like laughter just to piss them off.
Speaker 3:It's great, I love it. Yeah, people used to tell me all the time, crystal, just ignore the trolls, don't let them get under your skin. I was like, oh hell, no, it's so much fun, it's like a sport after a while. And my favorite line always is like did a fat girl turn you down? Oh, did a fat girl hurt your feelings? I'm so sorry. Go the fuck away, dude. Go back to your men's rights support group meetings, exactly. Fuck off, because men need more rights, y'all.
Speaker 2:Oh, seriously. So I want to give you a couple of other people to follow instead of.
Speaker 2:So Drew Aflalo, and that's A-F-U-A-L-O. If you wanted to go look her up. Samira, Do you know? Samira? Oh, just chef's kiss. She's doing so much more for the fat plus size industry than most people. She's writing music about it. She's going to anthropology and saying, like why are you putting all the plus sizes in the back? They've now started to change the layout of their stores because she put them on blast. Um, people are like I think it was I don't remember what the company was, but they like used a clip of her video talking about like nobody wants to wear snoopy because she would like went into a store and was like fat girls wearing snoopy. Um, and they took that clip and she was like you're making money off of me and, oh man, they like had to shut stuff down. Like she's got a following. I think she's somebody that's just not taken. No for an answer. When it comes to putting the industry on blast, which is really cool, I recommend the Fab Fatties. They have a podcast, which is really great, but there's body diversity there. They're a group of friends that talk about all types of different experiences that they have.
Speaker 2:Mary Fran, she is on TikTok as well. She's a very kind, sweet person. You can tell she's an educator. She's an educator but she's also in that process of like really trying to accept herself and doing a great job at it, like in encouraging others to do it. So she she's kind of like the opposite of the drew a follow. You know, like she's that very like I'm having a bad body day and that's OK and I'm going to do this and this to address that, you know, to address that, you know, and so if that's your type of you know, I need to kind of slowly immerse myself into it. She's a great person to follow and learn more about. And then, of course, the Hot Fat Guy Club. I'm all about that. So those were my recommendations. Who all do you have that people should be following and learning from?
Speaker 3:I do like the Big Gay, big Gay, was it Big Fat Gay? Oh, you look it up, the podcast that won the award last year. Let me look them up so I can get the exact name for y'all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we also agreed that one of our favorites is Saucy West. She is unapologetically your quote-unquote favorite fat girl and has lots of really great fashion content, fat liberation content, and you think you can't go wrong following saucy. And then you've got people like Tigress, I mean. We've got advocates, We've got folks that are fully like that's their content. But there's also individuals who really just try to show like different aspects of their life and include all different types of bodies, which is really helpful. Ashley, do you have any that you follow? I mean?
Speaker 4:I follow all the ones that you guys have really talked about and it's interesting because I actually just went and was looking up, like the top influencers, the top fat influencers in 2024. And what's very interesting to me is one this list of the top 100 plus size influencers in 2024 starts with Lizzo, but then, as I'm like scrolling through the list, these are all like baby fat people, like every single one of them is maybe a size 18. Yeah, maybe, and I'm like, okay, so this list of all these people we can't even rely on looking up, like looking for actual fat influencers.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite things to do is to go to a Tigress Osborne and then go to her friend list and just start scrolling or go to the Big Sexy Chat podcast, you know, and look like you and really immerse yourself in. Okay, is this person representing the things that we're talking about? Or are they the kind of person that is, you know, really falling into that same old narrative?
Speaker 4:Oh, definitely. That's exactly how I started building up our Big Sexy Chat Instagram pages. I went to Tigress's page and I went to a lot of our other our friend Saucy's page and I was like, okay, let's find some good fatties and good, not like good fatty, bad fatty, but like genuinely good fatties to follow for us. And I'm like, I'm not disappointed. There's like a lot of them and they're really, really great. There's tons of them out there.
Speaker 4:I think, the fact that there are so many, but like no one really knows all of them.
Speaker 3:The Big Fat Gay podcast is who I was talking about, and they are the ones that won the Podcaster of the Year Award last year, which we are also up for again this year with the Full Figure Industry Awards, in which I was on their podcast or on their show last night, and the big gay pot, the big fat gay podcast. They're all men, or I think so from what I can tell. I've listened to it about three or four times. I loved it, but they they talk about a lot of the same stuff that we talk about, but from, I think, from a queer point of view and, um, of course, fat con, philly, fat con, fat con and all the people that you know, the fat burlesque they follow Pucks, of course, and I'm really trying hard to be intentional about finding more representation. Instead of, like a lot of, you know, heterosexual people, I'm trying to find more enbies and queer people, just because I want to make sure we're reaching all the fatties and they can learn about us and we can learn about them.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:There's so many great people out there Napa for sure.
Speaker 4:I actually. So I, because of my side thing that I'm doing I went and was looking at. I always thought, like I, because we talked to Tiger so much and we talk about Napa, I didn't realize that there were other fat focused charities and non-profits out there. But, uh, the body positive I hadn't heard about them before, was very excited to learn about them. Um, and they have a lot of great connections. And then also, apparently they're not doing so much anymore.
Speaker 4:But but, speaking of, like, the queer community, uh, nolos is is one that is ran by fat trans people, for fat trans people like I love that. I love that there is more than like I love nafa and also I love that there is more than just nafa, because that means that we have more reach and more people that are helping people learn how to love their bodies as they are, instead of feeling like we have to fix them, and love our lives as it is, instead of having to change our size in order to enjoy any part of it. And it's just. It loves that. You love that there are other people and other organizations out there doing that work.
Speaker 3:NAFA has been doing it for 53 years. So, and you know it's, they're very well established. But yeah, thank goodness there's more than just NAFA, because there's so much to do. You know they Tigresson team can't do it all. You know they're doing a lot, though they cover a lot of ground, that's for sure.
Speaker 4:You definitely Well, and they focus on different things Like NAFA really focuses on, like that governmental change, whereas like the body positive is really focused on on community change and in offering classes and offering things that really help people to do that. Like I've got a, I've got a connection through. We've got a group here in Portland, chum Hub, pdx and this photographer her name's Terry. She's amazing, she's really big on like her photography is beautiful because she's like it's roles, it's roles upon roles upon roles and all of her photography and it's gorgeous, like it's beautiful and artsy and just it's stunning. But she also does classes and she also does things like really that are helping people and so like these type of people out there that are not just influencers but also have a bigger reach and doing more, I just fucking love them and just snaps to all of that.
Speaker 2:So that's it, kids. You need to go and immerse yourself in a variety of different people to follow, and we've given you just like a smidgen of the surface of what you can go find. And I encourage you to look at people of different races, of different abilities, of different genders, of different sexualities, of different body shapes and just add. Add them to your feed and see how you feel in a week, See how you feel in a month and then see if you don't start feeling better about yourself and the world around you.
Speaker 3:Great advice. I'm 100% Murph.
Speaker 2:I think on that we can end the podcast.
Speaker 3:Okay, and like you, always tell everybody we love when you share our podcast with your friends. Share it with your other fat friends or your thin friends, because we could use some thin allies and share, share, share, like, like, like, subscribe, if you can. If you go to our website, bigsexychatcom, if you're not already in our database, you'll be added to our email database and we'll try to email you like once or twice a month we don't go crazy and that way you can keep in touch with us. If you have any ideas for a podcast or guests that you like us, send us an email to bigsexychatpod at gmail or you can DM us. We get quite a few DMs. Huh, ashley, we love DMs.
Speaker 2:You can slide into our DMs.
Speaker 3:Did you see that I had one?
Speaker 4:Okay, let's say within reason, because when you start sending us photos and you start bombing us with things, we might ask you very kindly to send us an email instead.
Speaker 3:But then I blocked him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me just put out a PSA. We don't want your dick pic, and if we want your dick pic, we will ask for your dick pic. Trust me, we are very confident women.
Speaker 4:We have no problem asking you to I know why dick pic At least ask first.
Speaker 2:Do you want to see a?
Speaker 4:dick pic like let me see how I feel today. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but probably not yeah but I will still accept all titty pics absolutely wonderful.
Speaker 3:well, I'm just we're gonna end it right here and um, I'm just going to end it by saying see you later, alligator, after a while crocodile Better swish jellyfish.
Speaker 4:I love it All. Right, Good night, Take care y'all Good night.
