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Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat: 2 Rad Fatties Unapologetically Sitting Around Chewing the Fat!
Current Events, Hot Topics, Viewer Questions, and Vibe of the Week. Fat Politics, TV Shows with fat characters, ditching diet culture, #sexnotdiets, sex, sex toys, relationships, mental wellness, sex toy reviews, cannabis, cbd, medical fatphobia, glorifying fat bodies, movies, current events, hot topics, fashion, lingerie, Black Lives Matter, and pretty much anything under the big fat sun! Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Fat, Flexible, & Fabulous; Stretching For Better Sex
Are you really old… or do you just need to stretch? 🤔 In this episode, we chat with Vera from Flexibility with Vera, a flexibility trainer who helps folks—yes, including fat folks—move with more ease, less pain, and maybe even spice things up in the bedroom. 💃🔥
Vera shares her journey from diet-culture burnout to discovering joyful movement, how stretching helped heal her chronic pain, and why everyone (yes, that means you) can improve their flexibility—without needing to be a yoga-loving pretzel. We also get into sexier topics, like which hip stretches can take your bedroom game to the next level. 😏
✨ Plus, we talk about:
- Why stretching is about nervous system regulation (not just muscles)
- The biggest myths about fat bodies & flexibility
- Simple daily stretches that change everything
- How stretching can make sex way more comfortable & fun
- Vera’s Splits in Two program—can YOU learn to do the splits?
🎧 Hit play and find out!
🔗 Find Vera here:
🌍 Website: FlexibilityWithVera.com
📲 Socials: @FlexWithVera on all platforms
📚 Free Flexibility Ebook: Available on her website!
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Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.
Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!
We're really stretching it. On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, We've got the incredible Vera from Flexibility with Vera joining us to talk about why stretching isn't just for the bendy babes of the world, it's for all of us. Whether you dream of touching your toes, slipping into the splits or just making it through the day without groaning every time you stand up, Vera's got the moves to help. So grab a comfy seat, take a deep breath and let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around Chewing the fat Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events.
Speaker 1:Hot topics.
Speaker 2:Sex, sex toys, fat politics, about community, cannabis, cbd, you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hey there, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. My name is Crystal and I'm here with my co-host, my lovely co-host Murph, and today we have an amazing guest. Her name is Vera and her website is Flexibility by Vera, and we're going to talk about why we all need to stretch more and also maybe learn a few tips about going into the splits, although I'm a little worried. So anyway, welcome, welcome both of you. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I keep seeing this meme and I'm sure it's targeted to me, thank you. Thank you, I keep seeing this meme and I'm sure it's targeted to me. You're not really old, you just need to stretch. Have you seen that one? Yes, yes, yes, they're like, they're definitely, but I, it's true, when I stretch, I feel so much better and I'm less cranky too. But anyway, welcome vera, and you pronounce your name, vera, and tell us all about you and about your website and about what the work that you do and how you got into this. All that fun stuff.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so thank you for having me. I run flexibility with Vera, which is my little personal training and flexibility training business. So a little backstory. I hated fitness for a very long time, especially being the fat kid growing up. I was always picked last, I was coming in last. I was just like not a fan of gym class. But of course you know Y2K, diet culture, all like you know Tumblr, weight Watchers, all that kind of stuff was like really thrown in my face.
Speaker 4:So I did try and work out often. I went to Weight Watchers as early as 11. I had a personal trainer by the time I was 13. Really like, oh, I want to get rid of like these rolls and stuff. I didn't have rolls when I was 13.
Speaker 4:When I look back I'm like who was I kidding? I wasn't that big, I was a child and so you know, all this time I was like trying to work out but I hated it and by the time I moved out I was like I'm just not going to do this. But I still tried to lose weight because diet culture and I ended up trying waist training, which is wearing a steel bone corset and while it's not necessarily bad for you if you're doing it properly, as in probably like, you're tying it correctly, you're only wearing it for a certain amount of time, not super long periods of time, and you're working out in between wearing it. I wore it for up to 10 hours a day. I tied it incorrectly half the time and I did not work out in between wearing it. So my core muscles so my abdomen, my glutes, my back they completely atrophied. The strongest part of my core at that time was my glutes, so they were kind of holding up my back, my front, like everything, and so obviously over time it just wasn't doing enough because everything else had gotten so weak to the point of I actually thought the corset was actually helping my pain, so I just kept wearing it, making it worse.
Speaker 4:It was about I think it was like October, maybe seven or eight years ago now I realized I actually couldn't get out of bed without crying into pain and I'd be crawling around and it was just so bad. I went to the ER and they were like, hey, congrats, you have back pain, like the most in the population. I'm like thank you for nothing. They literally gave me no advice. They gave me some Tylenol and sent me on my way as I'm like hobbling down the streets of Toronto and unrelated. But two days later my appendix burst, which was a whole other issue, but basically after my back gave out, I came across someone online Roz the Diva, a plus size pole pole dancer in New York, and I saw her in a YouTube video and I was like wait, someone my size is doing something, something so cool, and just flying around that pole like nothing. And I was so amazed and I never did it. I was like, whatever, I'm putting it in the back of my mind, I still hate fitness.
Speaker 4:Fast forward, about a year after this ER incident I went to a club with my friends and they had some pole dancers there and I was like I thought of Roz and I'm like I could do that. I'm still hobbling around in pain because I haven't been doing anything the last year, but the next day I signed up for my first pole dance class and a splits training class that day and I was awful at it, but I did have a lot of fun with it and I had so much fun that I kept doing it and doing it and trying other types of fitness. But I really fell in love with flexibility training. So by the time the pandemic hit, I was like well, obviously I'm not working right now, like most people everyone's kind of sitting around on their couch but I've been really enjoying stretching these last few years, so why not get certified to teach it? And it was November 2020 when I had my very first class called Flexi Fatties, and I've been a flexibility coach ever since.
Speaker 3:That's so awesome. I love that story. I mean not that the fact that you had to go to the yard in your appendix almost, but the rest of it. Yeah, that's fascinating. Do you still do pole dancing at all? I?
Speaker 4:don't too much, because ever since I moved a little bit outside of Toronto, there aren't many studios around me and I'm in an old house. So I do have actually a pole I had in my old place, but I do not trust the ceilings of this house because it was built in the 40s. I'm too scared of that. So I haven't, unfortunately since. I haven't, unfortunately since.
Speaker 2:But I have so much love for that community and still supporting everyone I know who does that or did it or still does it. I was just going to mention that Murph Roz and I have had discussions before about having her on. We should have her on sometime.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:She's really great, she's so fun.
Speaker 4:She's cute, such a fun person. I've been to New York a few times. I've done classes with Roz since finding her originally, but I really have to thank her for being someone who could show me that joyful movement was even a thing, because I didn't believe in that. I thought everything was just going to be awful. I was always going to be in pain and, based on what the ER doctor said, I just figured that was like this was my life. But you know, seeing Roz doing what she does, I was like, oh, you can do that Okay.
Speaker 3:Seriously watching pole, any kind of pole dancing or any kind of pole work. I'm just always like, yes, like anybody who puts in that kind of time and can do that, I'm always just like this is incredible, same kind of thing here, like we don't have something like that where I live, like I would have to drive 45 minutes to like go to a class. But yeah, it's always something that has interested me. It's one of those things where, like you said, joyful movement, like if you find something that you enjoy that kind of thing, it's, it's the best way to do it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's so fun and it is very, very like strength-based, like you have the core strength you have to have for that, and I will say, like, between doing the pole dancing and the flexibility training at the same time, like that really did help my back pain like in tremendous ways. Ways because I was really building that strength at same time while also stretching Right.
Speaker 3:I'm curious how long? Because a lot of folks like you said you know difficulty with movement, difficulty with the fitness industry and those types of things the practicing makes you know you get better at it. You've got to keep kind of going back to it. How long, would you say, did it take for you to really start seeing alleviation of the back pain or like more promising kind of you know getting out of that?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I, honestly it's. It kind of comes in waves, right. So, like I can't say like it was this time and my back pain was cured. I would say, though, within a week I started noticing differences though, wow, because I did go to three to four classes a week and even then I was like, oh, like, and you know it's a slow, it's a slow progress, um, especially for where I was with my back, and you know, sometimes, even though you are doing something consistently, it can still go backwards, um, so there's always ups and downs, like I even say now, unfortunately, I can't say like I've cured my back pain, but I have gotten it to a place where not only do I know how to relieve the majority of the pain, but I don't have to deal with painkillers, I don't have to get MRIs.
Speaker 4:I know some people who've gotten surgery for their back pain and I'm very thankful that I'm at a place where I know what to do so I don't ever have to go there. And there are days where I do wake up and I'm like I actually feel no pain at all and I love those days. But I never thought I'd even have those days before, even on the days where I'm like you know, it's a little, a little bit stiff, but once I stretch it's, like you know, a two out of 10 kind of feeling, like it's like, oh, it can get there, it can get that low, like the pain can be that minimal. Is is such an amazing feeling, yeah, that sounds fantastic.
Speaker 3:I'm curious you said that you had your first class. Was that in person or was that like virtual? What? What formats do you give for your work?
Speaker 4:so that one was virtual um, especially yeah, it was. It was during COVID, like there were still lockdowns happening, at least in Toronto then, and so I've actually I would say I mostly still do virtual. I did actually kind of I don't want to say like blow up or go viral, but I did get a lot of my audience from TikTok, and TikTok threw all my stuff to people in the US, even though I'm up in Canada. So I was like well, it doesn't make sense for me to just stick to one spot when obviously so many people need this and so many people feel more comfortable moving in their own homes rather than having to go to a space, especially in larger bodies, like we don't feel welcome in gym spaces usually, like almost ever Right. So I prefer to teach a virtual because of that. But I've teached in person. I've had some. I've even taught in New York. I've taught little events around Toronto, which is super fun. I do love doing that, but I love being able to reach as many people as I can with this type of movement.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, did you realize? Okay, I need to slowly build up extra tools, because something I think about because I don't go to gyms, I don't like being in those spaces is I try to buy whatever equipment and have it at home. And I see that you've got it. Looks like some yoga equipment or some yoga tools. What types of things should somebody have to get started? What?
Speaker 4:types of things. Should somebody have to kind of get started? Honestly, as long as you have a good yoga mat, I kind of went the road of I need everything and anything that's ever been created which you don't. You really don't, I think. Even if you have a chair or a stool and you have a yoga mat, that's really all you need, because there's so many things you can use that are household items, instead of going out and buying things Like, yes, I love using yoga blocks and a strap and even having an exercise ball or a bolster, but those things like okay, blocks, you can use the chair or the stool Strap, you can use a belt or a towel, even a bolster, couple pillows.
Speaker 4:There's so many household options for all these tools. So, really, as long as you have a good mat that is supportive of your body because there are different types of mat widths, so I do suggest a higher width because of usually knee pain, because most of us have that but as long as it's supportive to you and you feel comfortable using it, then that and a chair and you're set.
Speaker 2:I don't feel any pain in my knees unless I'm on my knees, and I wanted to ask you about that. So I'm around a lot of fat women, a lot of fat people, a lot, and it seems like one of the biggest fears is when they fall. I always say BGD, big girl down. When I fall, it's an effort to get back up and you know I really have to push off on things. I wonder if you have any tips for that for people who you know, people, oh, let me help you. I'm like don't help me, you can't possibly help me. You're just going to rip my arm out of my socket. Okay, I promise you, my body's going to tear it out all up.
Speaker 2:But do you have any tips around that how people can get up more gracefully and where it's less painful for our knees?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I would honestly say practice. And by practice I mean don't just, like you know, go out on some ice and fall, but if you're in your home and you have a sturdy chair, not a chair with wheels I never suggested a chair with wheels nearby you will just make it worse. Yeah, exactly, Um, you don't want to be sliding around there. I would say, really, take your time coming down onto one knee and onto both knees and then bring one knee up the other knee up, to stand and use that chair for support and practice that, Like even once a day. I think can be very helpful to just practice that movement, because in the end you're thinking it's a lunge and a squat, basically like in a very rough form when you're trying to get up and you know, and of course, when you have the chair there, you can use your arms, you can really help yourself up. But to practice getting up and down off the ground to help strengthen the muscles will really help and also when you're strengthening the muscles it will take pain out of the knees.
Speaker 2:Great idea. I would have never thought of that yeah, I'm curious.
Speaker 3:Um, you know it sounds like the majority of the folks that you market to is it's body inclusive. So it's, it's anybody, everybody, but I think a lot of folks. You know we've we've found our niche with the fat community. It sounds like you've found a niche with the fat community. It sounds like you've found a niche with the fat community too. What kind of like frequently asked questions do you get from from our folks?
Speaker 4:I would say actually, the most often asked question is how can I have better sex? And like, how can I open my hips for better sex? It's the comment and it's funny because that's not just with fat people but it's with every. Everyone wants to know how can I have better sex with flexibility training.
Speaker 3:That's a right up our alley Cause. Guess what? That's one of the questions coming for you, so that makes sense.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's always very interesting to me because I think I'm like, oh, you want to be able to do like this hike with your kids. Or I know someone who did want to go walk around Disney World with their kids. That was their second concern. The first concern was to have better sex and that's such a common thing and I love that because, honestly, you should be able to feel comfortable when you're having sex and if you're flexible, you will be more comfortable with it because you can just move easier.
Speaker 2:Is the sex thing, the hip flexor tightness.
Speaker 4:It can be hip flexor tightness, it can be glute tightness, it could even be a core issue. There's actually just so many muscles If I'm not mistaken, there's around 17 muscles in the hips and so it could be any of those, it could be multiple of them, it could be our fascia, it could be the tendon. It's a lot of. What is it?
Speaker 4:But what I love about flexibility training is because you can't actually just stretch one muscle. Every time you're stretching one muscle, you're probably stretching like three or four other muscles without even noticing. So doing those hip stretches, like working on your hip flexors and say a lunge, will actually also help your glutes. It'll also help your hamstrings and quads and things like, say, for a straddle. So sitting in a wide V shape will really help the adductors. So the inner thighs, which help open up our legs, which people love to see you do that in bed but like to have that, and then you're also working your glutes right. You're strengthening the opposite muscle that is stretching. So that's one thing I just really love is you're getting in so many different things, depending on what you're working on at that time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I'm curious, you know the stretches that you talk about. I love, first of all, that you use the writing, you know the code words so that nothing gets taken down on TikTok with a little devil emoji I'm always like, oh hey, but I think one of the things that I had found you before we talked about interviewing you and I'd found you on TikTok and it was those types of things that I was looking at. I think one of the things that really interests me was that you can be very flexible while also being very fat, and that was something that I you know like I can bend down and touch my toes very easily. I'm all torso, so it's like. But I've had people just be absolutely amazed. You know that I can do that, and I think that that's something where our, our community sometimes feels left out. You know they feel like I'm too fat to do this or I'm too like. What would you say to somebody who's kind of stuck in that thought process or that, that feeling?
Speaker 4:um, I'd probably tell them to come to one of my free classes and see, because there's one. The issue I find with the fitness industry as a whole is they don't offer many modifications for a lot of things. It's you're going to do this and if you can't do that, well, you're going to sit out. Um, and that's. That's so wrong, and I think it's so excluding um, because you can do almost any movement with proper adjustments of the body or using props. So I always think, like you know you don't, you may not be able to touch your toes right now, like sometimes that's not always accessible.
Speaker 4:If your hamstrings are very tight because you're sitting for long periods of time, they're weak, they need a little bit of loving before they get there. But in the meantime you can still stretch them by bringing your hands to a chair and pulling your tailbone up to the sky or adjusting the weight in your feet of how your hips are sitting over your legs to still get that stretch. And you're going to notice that even doing that for, say, doing a passive stretch. So a passive stretch is just holding it for a long period of time, doing that and just breathing through it, your nervous system is going to relax and you're going to get further. Maybe you can bring your forearms down to the chair within five minutes, like it can actually happen very fast.
Speaker 4:And because flexibility training is a matter of controlling your nervous system, your muscles technically can go into a split right off the bat if they really wanted to. Would it be painful? Yes, but the nervous system is actually protecting you and that's why, if you tried on your own, you wouldn't be able to. But if you maybe had a little too much to drink, you could go pretty far because your nervous system is basically shut down. It's like, yeah, we're good, we're safe, and so it's really a matter of practicing safety within our nervous system to get a bit further each time, and that's why I do believe anyone can be flexible, because anyone can work on regulating their nervous system to a place where they feel safe in these movements.
Speaker 3:That's fascinating to me, the psychology behind it. It all makes sense. You know, when you're trained to do mindfulness practices or you're trained to try to calm down your nervous system, that you do feel more loose, that you have more space to move around. It just feels like there's a heaviness lifted. So that that makes sense to me why that would happen. That's interesting. I always love the psychology behind things. Um, so there's this place called like um stretch lab or something like that. They're like pretty, pretty famous, like in, at least in our area. Um, it's usually like someone stretching you. Oh, it's like an orgasm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, it, looks like it oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm curious, like do you, like we're talking about sex and stretching like is there opportunities to bring other people, your partners, so that they can help you stretch, and are there, like specific things to do for that in terms of opening you up for more sexual positions with a partner?
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know it's interesting because I don't normally teach partner stretches. Again, it's the nervous system, Like people are at different levels and it's hard to gauge where they are if that person stretching at them isn't quite sure and not super in tune. If they are, that's probably safe to do, but you got to be careful with it. But as long as you're really communicative with how your body is feeling there's, I would say go for it.
Speaker 4:The one I love is you're in a wide V, so again a straddle position, and then your partner is also in a straddle position, but their feet would be on the inside of your ankles and what they do? They grab your arms and they lean back, so you end up going forward and of course, if they are leaning all the way back with their backs on the ground, you are in a full pancake split, which can be very intense. Also, your head is in their crotch, so hopefully the person you're stretching with you are feeling really comfortable with them. But there are a lot of fun partner stretches that I've seen and have done a couple of myself that are very fun. But I think that straddle one is definitely one of my favorites because you do get to really open up your hips that way and you get to have like this moment with your partner, because then you can kind of alternate between like almost like a I want to say a seesaw going back and forth to stretch your hips out for some fun times after. Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. Do you have a specific set of stretches that you do before you get intimate with somebody?
Speaker 4:cat-cow. Those are all dynamic stretches because you're not stopping and pausing. Those are really good because you're getting the blood flowing and you're getting your joints lubricated so they can move easier. And once the body is warm, that's usually when people are doing more athletic things, more sexy things, more intense things. So I always love a good warm-up. So like hip circles are kind of my go-to.
Speaker 4:If I have a bit more time is when I would do things like pigeon pose, where I have my one foot forward, kind of at a 90 degree angle to my hip, my other leg is back behind me, where I can really stretch the back of my hips.
Speaker 4:So so, like in the glute area. I really love that one because it also does help open the hips. There's also a bit of an emotional release a lot of people find and that is just one of them where it's like it just feels so juicy that when you go to a robot you just feel like lighter and happier. It's like all right, like let's get into this kind of motion. I do also love things like legs up the wall, where you are lying flat on the ground and your legs are literally up a wall, but then you can go into that straddle position where you're in that V shape now but your feet are up and you can actually work on opening and closing your legs, which again will strengthen your outer hip, stretch the inner hip. But then it also brings in that blood circulation into your hips and legs, which can be really fun too.
Speaker 2:You really could do your stretches in bed A hundred percent.
Speaker 4:I actually love stretching in bed, especially when I wake up, especially if I'm sleeping. Funny, I love doing some good stretches in bed, like things like a supine twist where you are lying on your back and you bring one knee up and kind of bring it across your body, because then I can also use pillows to kind of support me and make it a little bit more comfy, cozy stretch session versus something that feels very intense and sweaty.
Speaker 2:That's a very good stretch for your sciatica, I think.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 2:That's the worst.
Speaker 4:It can be, so intense.
Speaker 2:It's like the very first time I had it. I was like I thought something was really wrong with me and then the doctor was like and it's just like the very first time I had it. I was like I thought something was really wrong with me and then the doctor was like that's just sciatica. I'm like, oh okay, now, when I feel it coming, it's time to stop slow down. Work on this now, crystal, before it gets really bad, because it can get painful, really painful.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I actually did have a really bad sciatica flare two years ago and my whole leg went numb. I woke up in so much pain I was basically just screaming and crying and then after about 10 minutes, nothing couldn't feel it at all and I was like that doesn't seem right. So I ended up going to the ER and basically, yeah, it was the same thing, where they're like, well, if it's, if you still have control of your bladder, if you can still like you could still like put weight on it, like it's fine, probably so yeah, one thing I've joked about this on the show before a couple times.
Speaker 2:But so what those bitches at kaiser told me was um, arthritis, consistent with someone her age. I was like, whatever it's like I hate that way. They put that consistent. That could be any age. I don't know what age are you talking about, but I'm like, yeah, I'm getting older. You know, I'm like 57, I just turned 57. So you know, yeah, things are getting a little tighter, so I have to make sure I I stretch them out, especially low back stretch yeah, and, like you know it, it is again a consistency thing.
Speaker 4:It's it's doing it. And when I say consistency I don't mean like go stretch for an hour every single day. Even like two to three minutes a day will make a world of a difference in the end, because it does all add up. And you know, even just like doing a couple sit to stand from your couch, even just to like stand up, sit back down, stand up even that that is technically squatting right. The only difference is you're taking that break in between. It's still a squat. You're still working your hip muscles and in the end, when your hips are feeling strong and loose in the sense of flexibility, not from a joint issue then your low back will also feel better, because low back pain is almost always not always, but almost always in like it's related to hip pain.
Speaker 2:This is a little bit personal and private, but when my back is not stretched, my low back, that's when I have a hard time cleaning up after I go to the bathroom. If my back is super tight, I can't get where I need to get. But when I've noticed, when I have a more warm and looser back, it's no problem, like okay, yeah. And then that's when I can touch my toes and stuff too. And people are always surprised because I have a really big belly and like, yeah, I can touch my toes, you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, especially like children, their joints and bones are just so more malleable, right, and you know, I think it's like after you hit like 25, it's like the fluid in your joints, the synovial fluid, and all that kind of muscle and tendons, all that kind of stuff, it does start stiffening up. So that's why flexibility training is so important, because then we can keep working on feeling a little bit better in our body. And yeah, I always find mornings are the worst for my own back pain and for most people really, and it's because we're lying down for six to eight hours, we're not moving, everything just kind of settles. And so once we start moving again and finding some warmth in our body, that's when it's going to feel better. And I find the same thing with sitting for long periods of time, because again everything settles. And once you stand up, once you start moving a bit and it doesn't have to be like crazy movements, but even just like walking around your kitchen even is going to feel better.
Speaker 3:You have a variety of different classes that you offer. I want to talk about the splits class, like so let's get to that. But I'm curious do you have one that's specific for being better in the bedroom or feeling charged for the bedroom, anything like that? I know you do the individual videos on TikTok, but is there a series that people can participate in for that?
Speaker 4:a great idea. I think the Split it In Two program I have is probably the closest, because it is all about hip stretching and that's really what you need for in the bedroom, nice.
Speaker 3:So tell us about the. Split it In Two course.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so it is a two-week course. I am not promising you will get your splits because that's a feat in two weeks to get. On average, most people get their splits in anywhere from six to 10 months with consistency sometimes sooner, sometimes longer, it all depends on your body. But the Split In 2 program is meant to give you an understanding on how to get your splits but, more importantly, what muscles in your hips need a little bit of extra love. So there's about 10 classes if I'm not mistaken, and, like of course there's there's actually rest days in between in this program, so you're not just going like hard every single day, but each class focuses on a different part of the hip and a different movement. So, for example, day two is flexion and extension drills, so you're just learning like individual movements on moves where your leg comes forward or it comes back. Then, in a different class, you're going to learn external, internal rotation, where your legs rotate outwards or inwards. Internal rotation, where your legs rotate outwards or inwards, and by doing this and kind of breaking it down, you get to learn. Okay, well, the flexion and extension is actually great in my hips. That's not something I necessarily have to work on right now, but that external rotation on the right side is so tight and I'm noticing I have pain on that side. That's what I'm going to have to keep working on, and so it kind of helps you figure out one how your hips actually are moving, but also what you're going to want to look on working on as you move forward.
Speaker 4:What I love about Split Into is, yeah, you get to work on your splits but you get to work on your hips in a way that can feel safe, because they are shorter classes, like. They range anywhere from 10 minutes to a 45 minute class. But you can mix it up, you can break it down, you can just like take breaks whenever and you also have access to the course for as long as you want. It's a forever course so you can come back to it. And I've had students do it three to four times over and they were like I didn't realize in this move I could do this, but on this side I couldn't, and I just never realized that until the second time I went through it. And so it's kind of like almost I think of it like when you rewatch a TV show after taking a break for a few years and you come back and you're like I didn't even notice that.
Speaker 4:How did I not notice? And it's the same thing with these movements where you work on the hips and then you're like, oh, okay, and then it clicks. And then when you're doing it, or even just doing something in your day-to-day life where you're moving your legs, you're like, oh, I see, now that's where it was stiff, but now I can move through it fluidly, which is what I love. And then, of course, if you get the splits, that's just, I think, a huge bonus, because it is a fun thing to do.
Speaker 3:Have you had some fat folks take the splits class and learn how to do the splits? Have you had some?
Speaker 4:fat folks. Take the splits class and learn how to do the splits. Yes, I have a student of mine. Oh my goodness, I love her. She has gone through Split Into twice now and when she first joined me it was for a different program and you know, she was kind of it was like I saw you have a splits program, I don't need the splits, but I kind of want to do them. And I said, well, yeah, they're a fun party trick. And a few months down the line she signed up for it and I actually saw her for a little in-person private we did and I was like let me see your split and she's's, I think, maybe an inch off the ground now and she was nowhere near that before, but she's been consistent with her practice and working towards it and, yeah, it's really fun to see especially fat bodies getting something like a split where it is such an intense range of motion.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's so cool. You're right. Arty trick like that's fantastic I know whenever I see, like the the dancers, you know that, like beyonce gets or whatever, I think of taylor swift. She's got that really um hot black guy that uh is always on with her and does the splits like at random, and I'm always like fuck yeah, like that's just so cool to see a fat person do that, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yeah, just a sidebar. But at FatCon I got to meet Kayla from Lizzo's show. Yeah, and she can you know from standing just bam we're down to the splits. We shared an elevator together. I was like hi, I know you, I know you.
Speaker 4:I love seeing her in that Lizzo show because I remember, yeah, she does the jump split and I've done jump splits only in two places One when I'm holding onto a pole so you could actually control the speed down, and the other time was at a beach and I had a lot of sand in too many places. I don't want to mention attention. Um, so I'm not someone who normally does jump splits, but I am amazed when I see people, especially who like, who do like a solid, jump into the air and just drop into it.
Speaker 2:I'm always amazed when I see that it's really a big deal in the drag community here. Oh yeah, oh yes, it is. I love it so sassy right.
Speaker 3:it just seems so powerful because there's so many, you know, stereotypes that fat people can't do that you know, especially men too. Like it's always exciting to see a guy do that because it's just like oh, wow, like, yeah, but that's fun is easier for men to get their splits.
Speaker 4:I'm not exactly sure the science behind it, but that's kind of what. The more I want to say, the more professionals, people who've been in the industry much longer than I have have kind of realized through research that men can more easily get their splits. But it's interesting because they're like no, I don't need that, I don't want that, I'm just going to hurt everything. But in reality they're going to get faster than people in some bodies.
Speaker 3:That's wild. Well, I'm curious. We ask every person that comes on our show what their favorite sex toy is. And I'm curious, yours doesn't have to be that. It could be a flexibility movement. If there's something that always kind of primes you for fun, what, for you, would be your favorite toy or favorite aid, or stretch.
Speaker 4:Okay, well, I guess I do have a two, two part for that as an answer here. I would say my favorite toy is, of course, the classic rose, because who doesn't love that one? It's a fun one. But my favorite stretch maybe not necessarily a stretch, just a move is that legs up the wall. I was saying with as that straddle with your legs are open. But when you're doing it in bed you always get that oh my God, you're flexible line from the partner, and it's always fun to hear because I do love hearing that line, because every single time, oh my God, you can do that.
Speaker 3:I'm like, yeah, you're bendy. You're like, wait until you see in about 30 minutes, buddy. Yeah, that, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2:The leg up the wall really helps lower back pain. It really helps lower back pain and circulation.
Speaker 4:Oh, is that right great, so um vera, tell us where everyone can find you yeah, so my website is flexibilitywithveracom and on all social media you can find me at Flex with Vera. So F-L-E-X-W-I-T-H-V-E-R-A. My YouTube channel is Flexibility with Vera, but if you searched Flex with Vera, it does show up still, so I just say it's all of them.
Speaker 2:Very cool you also mentioned earlier. Do you have a free webinar or seminar or video? Yeah, so.
Speaker 4:I do have a couple little things floating around. Right now I have a free ebook. So that ebook is you can find it on my website or even on my socials, looking at the link in bio little link there. The ebook is just kind of how to get started with flexibility training and I do have some classic stretches in there, kind of like forward fold and different ways you can do it with different modifications. So if you're raising a chair or blocks or if you're just doing straight hands to the ground, if you're that far and the cues you need to know. So for example, like forward fold, you do need to have your weight pushing forward into your toes, you need to have your tailbone lifted, you need to be able to breathe deeply and expand your chest. So there's cues like that. And also my most important tip always in that ebook is kind of how to recognize pain when it comes to stretching, because we actually never want to feel pain when we stretch. Discomfort is fine, not pain. So that's all in my free ebook on my website.
Speaker 2:I imagine it's true. Just like with everything in life the better hydrated you are probably the easier it is to flex and stretch it is 100%.
Speaker 4:I'm a big fan of reminding people to stay hydrated. I do get a lot of people in my DMs sending me memes of ducks threatening people to stay hydrated, which I'm like. Well, we're the same. So, yeah, staying hydrated will definitely help with your flexibility.
Speaker 3:You know Crystal's famous for saying communication is lubrication, but it sounds like you need lubrication too for those muscles and having the best sex. So I mean, why not? Why aren't you signed up with Vera's class so that you can learn these things? Get lube on the inside and lube on the outside.
Speaker 2:One last quick question for me. So how similar would you say that your seminars and webinars are to yoga?
Speaker 4:Ooh, fairly similar, but I think the main difference between what I do and yoga is that yoga is very spiritual practice and it has a lot of roots in Sanskrit, of course, and all these kind of different limbs of yoga. So if you were to just look, compare me to yoga, all I do is the asana, which is the body movements, and that's really not looking great for me because I'm like, well, I'm not doing the rest of the yoga, I'm not doing the mindfulness and all these different practices that are part of yoga, so I prefer calling it flexibility training and I think it is very different because it is more in the fitness realm that focuses on the actual body mechanics of the muscles versus kind of the mindfulness and the spiritual aspect that yoga brings.
Speaker 3:Because I would think, like you still are practicing mindfulness and breathing, you know, but it's just not. It's not the core concept of it. Like it sounds like you know, I never really got. Not, it's not the core concept of it. Like it sounds like you know, I never really got into yoga, I think, because of those reasons. So I think like, oh, like flexibility and stretching and those types of things, like I wouldn't have to incorporate that, but I'm still kind of doing aspects of it, like that's really cool.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I definitely think I find yoga is a wonderful practice, but I don't want to be disrespectful to it in any way of only practicing like a very small part of it, which is why I just kind of say I don't do yoga at all. I've never been trained to teach yoga. Anyways, definite moves that have overlap 100%, but also the way they're being taught is different because of the either alignment or the breathing techniques, that kind of follow.
Speaker 3:I think yoga can be fairly intimidating and I think that keeps a lot of folks away from it just because of those practices. So I'm excited for you to share that explanation because I think for you know, like we talked about at the beginning, so many fat folks struggle with, you know, joyful movement and those types of things and it's like if you're not really going to a gym or you know, you've always see the skinny girl on the yoga mat, you know, and all that it's, it's this doesn't seem intimidating. It seems like something that's like the universal helps everybody and you know everyone can have their own rate of success with it.
Speaker 4:Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:I know the yoga people are always trying to get away from this, but yoga always seems like it's for thin young women, thin young white women. Yeah, I think they're trying really hard to get away from that, but it still feels like it's for really young, thin white ladies.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and that's kind of I find the problem with it is because once yoga kind of came over from its roots in India, it became so westernized to. Yeah, it's a very specific type of body that is seen in yoga, especially if you just Google like Google image yoga. It's a very specific type of body that is seen in yoga, especially if you just Google image yoga. It's always thin, white people, not only in doing yoga but doing very advanced yoga poses.
Speaker 4:You will not see someone just doing child's pose off the bat. You're going to see them doing some like crow pose or handstand or something very intense. That does look very intimidating for someone who's just starting, like yeah, it does look great for the photo, but it doesn't help. Someone who has never done it who is like I'm supposed to do that off bat? You're not, you don't have to, but you know those basic moves aren't usually shown. So there's all these different little aspects that kind of the Western society has kind of placed on to yoga that I feel kind of really take away from what yoga truly became and what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jessamyn, she really is squashing all those old because she's fat and black and beautiful and strong and she can do handstands and headstands and she's amazing I'm not sure her pronouns I should say not positive, that she goes by she, but they're beautiful and so strong and just I love watching all of her, their videos yeah, jessamine's definitely a inspiration to me, for sure. Badass, total badass murph, did you have any other questions for um vera?
Speaker 3:no, I think this has been such a delightful conversation. I think I think I'm going to sign up for your splits class and try it out. I've been really, every time I have my massage therapist come, she's always like your hip flexors. This is not working for me. You've got to stretch that. So, yeah, I just want to be able to like have better movement my hips, because that seems like where all my tension is. So I'm excited.
Speaker 4:I love that, I definitely will say, because the hips do hold a lot of tension. It can feel very intense. I definitely think beginners can do it and I definitely think they should try it. But I would be warned it can feel like a lot at first until your body gets used to it. But I think it's also with anything you do right, your body has to take the time to get used to the movement and, like I said before, to calm the nervous system. So the breathing aspect really does help with that. But hip stretches can feel pretty intense. So I want to give that a fair warning. It's worth it, I promise it's worth it, but it can be a little.
Speaker 2:Is it like one of those super crazy strong orgasms where you even get maybe tears from it? Yeah, yeah, people get emotional, I'm sure.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've seen people cry in pigeon pose before because it can be a very intense stretch. But it's also, you know, again it's recognizing pain versus discomfort, where discomfort is okay, and sometimes that will lead to tears, as long as it's not actually painful, because you know, we don't want injuries here, no, but we do want a nice good stretch.
Speaker 2:A pleasure talking with you, vera. I really, really appreciate all your expertise and knowledge and flexibility with Vera. V E R? A that's the website. Oh, no, flex with Vera. Flexibility with Vera. Okay, I was right the first time. Yeah, and all the socials. I saw your Instagram. I saw your YouTube. I subscribed. It's lovely, wonderful, and people can find out more about your webinars, your classes and stuff on your website Probably the best place to go find your rates and stuff.
Speaker 4:I'd say that's the best place. And if you just kind of want to get a little bit know, a little bit more about me, then Instagram and socials is for that.
Speaker 3:Lovely, awesome Oliver, her beautiful little kitty that participates in her TikTok videos. I even showed my husband to try to gain his interest in flexibility stuff. I was like there's a kitty involved.
Speaker 4:Look, look, I know I can grab him right now because he's beside me. He's annoyed at me now because I picked him up and he was sleeping, but usually he's very eager to join me on the mat.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Thanks again, Murphph. Anything else you want to wrap up with? Anything uh?
Speaker 3:like, subscribe, share uh, review, but really share word of mouth. That's what we're hoping for share it with with other folks, um, because we all need to know how to stretch so that we have the best sex ever. So share this, tell your friends let's go.
Speaker 2:I will say that I was at FatCon last weekend, or two weekends ago, and it was amazing. And for those of you who are thinking about doing it next year, it's going to be the 1st, it's January 2026. It's like the 16th and the 18th, so check it out. It was a lot of fun, a lot, a lot of people and a lot of rad fatties, and it was just a really great weekend. So fatconorg is, uh, usually in well, it's always in seattle so far. So, um, that's it for us. Um, yeah, follow our. If you go to our web page just big, sexy chatcom there's a follow button on there, and so you'll get reminded whenever we have a new podcast, which is usually about twice a month. And, yeah, I think that's about it. So I'm gonna say bye, oliver, and see you later. Alligator, alligator, after a while crocodile.
Speaker 4:See you soon, raccoon.
