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Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat: 2 Rad Fatties Unapologetically Sitting Around Chewing the Fat!
Current Events, Hot Topics, Viewer Questions, and Vibe of the Week. Fat Politics, TV Shows with fat characters, ditching diet culture, #sexnotdiets, sex, sex toys, relationships, mental wellness, sex toy reviews, cannabis, cbd, medical fatphobia, glorifying fat bodies, movies, current events, hot topics, fashion, lingerie, Black Lives Matter, and pretty much anything under the big fat sun! Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Building a Bold, Curvy Empire – Marie Denee Gets Real
Chrystal and Merf welcome the incomparable Marie Denee, founder of The Curvy Fashionista, for a real-talk episode packed with fashion, fire, and fat joy. Marie shares her journey from launching a blog in 2008 to becoming one of the most respected voices in plus-size media. We dive into fashion industry pitfalls, the power of representation (yes, including steamy werewolf smut), and how Marie’s pushing boundaries with her growing digital empire. This one is full of laughs, inspiration, and a whole lot of truth. Plus, find out which sex toy brand has Marie feeling fancy. 💁♀️✨
Guest Info:
Marie Denee is the creator of The Curvy Fashionista, a trailblazing digital publication dedicated to plus-size fashion, lifestyle, and culture. Featured in Essence, Glamour, The Wall Street Journal, and more, Marie is a force in the world of fashion and empowerment.
Follow Marie:
- Instagram: @thecurvyfashionista
- Twitter/X: @TCFStyle
- Facebook: The Curvy Fashionista
Connect with Big Sexy Chat:
- Website: BigSexyChat.com
- Socials: @BigSexyChat
- Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
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Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.
Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!
From sassy fashion truths to sultry book recs. Today's guest is bringing the curves, the charisma and the closet of your dreams. We're joined by Marie Dene, the one and only curvy fashionista, to chat about fat fashion, fabulous finds and the journey from blog to media empire. Grab your glitter fluff, that werewolf fur and get comfy. This episode's got style, sass and just the right amount of smutty spice.
Speaker 2:Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.
Speaker 2:We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community, cannabis, cbd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hey everybody, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. My name is Crystal and I'm here with my beautiful and amazing co-host, murph Hi. Murph Hi, we also have a very special guest for all of you today. You're going to be just in love with this guest because she's so fabulous and funny. And are you from the Bay?
Speaker 4:Marie, originally. No, I'm actually a military brat, so I'm, you know, I am a SoCal girl.
Speaker 2:I am a Cali girl, yeah, but I did live and start my business up in the Bay Area, okay, cool. So for those of you who don't know, we have Marie here today, marie Dene of the Curvy Fashionista. In fact, I would say she is the Curvy Fashionista. Welcome, marie.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much for having me. It's been a minute and I'm so glad to see your face.
Speaker 2:I know I miss your face. Love it. When did you start the Curvy Fashionista blog?
Speaker 4:Okay, so we've gone through multiple different iterations. Right now, I started TCF in 2008, in December of 2008, because, like I had initially had started it before, but I published my first article in 2008 of December. And now TCF has evolved from a blog to a digital media platform, to a digital media publication, so it's kind of grown a bit over these past 16, almost 17 years.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's great Wow.
Speaker 3:That's fantastic. I was going to say. I remember it from back in the day and it's only gotten better. So that's so cool. Yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I branch out in all kinds of ways. I was telling the girls last night, or I shared with them via email, that I found a Google alert that had a link to your one of your newest articles about five romance writers that write romance articles about fat girls. You have all kinds of different stuff on your site now. It's so interesting I love it.
Speaker 4:Well, you know that was intentional, right, because you know I'm I'm about to be 44 this year and I had a moment where I was thinking to myself, like I am more than just clothes, like there's more layers to a woman than just like how she shows up. You know, we have our hobbies. We love the things we nerd out about, like I love playing my word games, but also I love to read. Like I have an app on my phone and give me all of the werewolf romance books yes, I'm currently reading one right now. I need all the spicy dance. Like, if it doesn't give me spice, I'm irritated.
Speaker 4:Um and so for me, I thought about, like well, how does the curvy fashion needs to show up in everyday life? So for me it was important. I kind of took a step back and thought like okay, there's wellness. I love to walk in the mornings. I haven't in a minute, but I, you know, I, I do, I did love that, right.
Speaker 4:And then I think about, you know her, how does she date? I started dating recently. I'd start. You know I was going on a mission. I was like all on the apps I'm no longer on them, but I was, you know, you know, and so like I think about these things that are like reflective in in life. And it's hilarious because I still get emails from from folks, from women who are like I need to see stuff around someone who's over 40, and I'm like that's me, like we're talking about these things and sometimes and I think we have to kind of have that conversation where the perspective of like what 40 looks like has changed, because she looks younger now and I think we're thinking or expecting like, uh, I don't know what we're expecting, but all I know is like I'm all like let's talk about it.
Speaker 4:So I've started introducing additional topics lifestyle topics and and have different writers like kind of like when they're in their lane to speak about some of these things, because it's important.
Speaker 2:For sure. Yeah, whenever I think of someone who's 57, which is how old I am I think of someone much, much older looking. I mean, first of all, I feel like I'm 25 inside, so there's that, but I'm like 57? I thought 57-year-olds had gray hair and wrinkly skin.
Speaker 4:The perspective.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and definitely when I was a kid I thought 50 was old. Well, and I think I wonder how much of that is. We grew up in the age where, you know, the 50, 40 year olds didn't talk about perimenopause and menopause and all those things, and so I think there was just kind of this sense of like you go old, you don't talk about those, you don't say those things. And then we get to 40 and 50 and we're like wait, what, this isn't old, you don't talk about those, you don't say those things. And then we get to 40 and 50 and we're like wait what, this isn't old, this isn't no, this isn't the same thing, but nobody's talked about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, also F. All of you that didn't tell me all about perimenopause before I got into it, or menopause Now I tell everybody. In fact, I'm starting my first progesterone pill tonight.
Speaker 4:Well, good on you. Now you got to keep us all abreast on what to expect from the side effects.
Speaker 2:What I need is less brain fog. Okay, I need to remember my words. Those are the two big things I want for my progesterone.
Speaker 3:Absolutely Well, and Marie, I just I loved that article because I have so many women in my lives that are plus size that identify as curvy love we call it smut, but love the smut and you don't have a lot of representation in those types of books. And so to branch out to show that full self on your blog and through your digital platforms. I think that hits on so many different levels because we are multifaceted but things haven't been made for us or haven't represented our stories. So I've already shared that with like a multitude of people.
Speaker 4:You know, when I do find a book and this app that I read. I appreciate this app because it has like a range of different types of authors who write different types of books and there's they actually included an author who had um, two different series, like I think something about like f-bombs, seals love f-bombs or f-bombs love seals or something. It was like all the seal like major, like buff, like ex seals that love their curvy women and I was like, oh, like, like what is this? And it was a series of like six books and I was like I love this. And then there was another book and it was by a completely different author but it was another series and it was about um, plus size women and like their identity with being plus and having relationships. Like, oh, this man couldn't really be into me, but then they have that one, that one girlfriend, that one plus size girlfriend was like why wouldn't they be into me? So it was just like such a great to find that type of content. You know, to find that type of content.
Speaker 4:And even, um, a book I read earlier today was like you know, this curvy short, you know she's got more, you know she didn't. She was nothing like a typical kind of werewolf girl, but like some of the physicalities I was like, oh, I can recognize. Now, the only thing that I do find that runs really short is like the lack of diversity from skin tone, right, so it's always the white, blonde hair, blue eye, and whenever they go into those descriptions I really scan really fast because I'm like don't ruin my, don't ruin my, my fantasy, because I'm over here like I'm visualizing and I think like that's where you know there's still much more room for improvement, but but still it's it's. You know, on one hand it's like, okay, curvy girl, and on the other hand it's like, okay, but I, I need a black, curvy girl.
Speaker 4:Like you know, give me that kind of. So it's just interesting and I find that the more I lean into my newfound hobbies, the more that it allows me to open up the different levels or the different variations or verticals for TCF everywhere.
Speaker 2:I want all of it. I don't just want to hear about blonde what do they call it? Like Coke bottle shaped, curvy girls that are blonde hair and blue eyes. They're all beautiful, but, yeah, I want more. I live in a world that's very diverse. I need my characters to be diverse so I can actually feel like I'm really in the story.
Speaker 4:Correct, I agree.
Speaker 2:Do you read about the fairies and stuff that?
Speaker 4:do you like that sometimes, sometimes these wolf, sometimes these wolf books, like you know, the alpha and the beta. And then there's like, uh, you know the mate is like half hybrid, she's like half wolf, half fairy, half wolf, half witch, or she doesn't know that she's like an uber special wolf. I am so ingrained in tennis it's like really freaking hilarious. Like I will sit and tell my mom about, give her the whole breakdown about a story and she's just listening like, and I'm like, mom, I know you don't care. So thank you for thank you for you know, yeah, hearing me and making me feel like this story is everything yeah, hearing me and and making me feel like this story is everything.
Speaker 2:You know, I met you via tigris, who comes up on almost every one of our episodes of our podcast. But you know, tigris is really into the fairy and the fae and she does a lot of, uh, cosplay with the fairies and stuff like that. Did you know that?
Speaker 4:no, I actually have a. I actually have a tattoo of a fairy. I am very much into fairies.
Speaker 4:um, I have been wrestling with wanting to get a new tattoo, um, about like a phoenix rising from the ashes, and so I kind of want to akin it like I'm all well. What if, like, the phoenix is more fairy? Like you know, in my head that's like what I'm already thinking. Or I'm like, what can I do with the one tattoo I already have, like, how can I make her a little bit more dope? Because I got her when I was 18. And, like I said, I'm about to be 44. So it's, like you know, on black skin, she needs a touch-up, she needs a, you know, a zhuzh. So I don't know, you know, for me it's's just like I'm in such transition and flux, like I'm, I'm really excited about it, but I, I want to make sure, like once, I because you know it's a commitment when you do a tattoo- you should see murph's tattoo, her disney tattoo yeah, I have a giant ursula that covers my left thigh I love it.
Speaker 4:I'm already in love with it. She's gorgeous.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's got. She's got flotsam and jetsam uh around her.
Speaker 4:It's really cute oh, I love it.
Speaker 2:Look at you and ashley and her husband both got new tattoos yesterday of curvy girls.
Speaker 4:They're beautiful beautiful my sister and her husband get coordinating tattoos, and so I'm like I can't wait to be married and swept up and in love. And so I can be like, hey, boo, let's go get some coordinating tattoos Not matching, but coordinating Absolutely. There's a story behind it, right? I want those kind of things.
Speaker 2:Marie, I see you and your future partner having coordinated outfits, Like if you're getting dressed up, you're going to coordinate somehow or another. I have a feeling.
Speaker 4:I don't know, I don't know if I'd want that, because, like I had an equal and him and his wife would always match, like down to his he would have a do rag on, that would be like the matching color of his suit and she would be like in the matching color of like all the things, and I'd just be like, okay, that's overkill. I don't know if I you know. So I find myself kind of like shying away from them, like I would, yes, in a coordination, but very subtle.
Speaker 2:But you have really great taste. I'm sure it would be wonderful. So tell us how. What inspired you to start the Curvy Fashionista? I know in the beginning it was more about fashion. I know you've definitely expanded your platform, but so you wanted to help people who are people of size learn about more fashion and style.
Speaker 4:Well, keeping it 100, like I actually wanted to start. I wanted to open up a boutique. So I was in my MBA program while I was up in Oakland and I had learned that blogs were, at that time, web logs, and I learned at that time that they were more of a marketing tool rather than a platform within and of itself. So for me, what I ended up doing was like, okay, well, this will be a tool to use while I open up my online boutique and from there, you know, whatever. And so when man plans, god laughs. And so I had launched, in 2009, my online boutique. I called it Marie Denae, but what I found, what I figured out from that, is that I was not a superwoman. I could not do all the things. I could not. Run an online boutique and do.
Speaker 4:The TCF, the Caribbean Fashionista, was taking off quicker than this online boutique was, and I was like, okay, it's time to close this and put all my resources into TCF. And so that's like literally all it took Like I just ended up. You know, I only lasted like one season of the boutique and literally dove headfirst into being a resource, providing resources, shining light on these indie designers that I was finding like all the way in France and in Australia and, and you know, and bringing them to the forefront for plus size women to to be able to shop contemporary, fashion forward pieces. Because at that time I had worked at Bloomingdale's, right, and so at the time I was working with all of these like high-end designers and I was like, where is the plus size equivalent of this? And when I would have plus size women come in, um, there were tons where I had to send them over to Nordstrom's to shop Rachel Pally at the time, or, or I would have to redirect or give the resources that I found online through my site Right, and so it was like it was.
Speaker 4:It was such an interesting journey and I realized you know, nothing happens by accident. So like I needed to go through like that kind of realization. I was in sales and then I was in management and so like for me it allowed for me to kind of fine tune how I wanted to help the plus size consumer, how I wanted to be a resource, so like that's kind of what contributed to it, to it all.
Speaker 2:Good instincts, though, too, and also when you're a small business owner or indie business owner, you have to be able to move quickly and iterate and change whatever you got to do.
Speaker 4:Yep, that's so awesome.
Speaker 2:So then, did you start right away doing like the affiliates, or did that come later?
Speaker 4:It came later and you know I smile because it was a memory that you just completely unlocked for me. I had gone to different blogging conferences and I remember the conversation around AdSense like that was a display ad option at that time and I remember how it took me like a year to get like a hundred dollars via AdSense and I was like, oh my god, like like okay, I know that there's something here, I know that there's something here and I've, you know, I've been very, very, very fortunate and very blessed that like, even though I had gone kind of like full-time with this since 2009, like that, I, you know, I ended up moving back home to Southern California in 2010 to move back home with my mom. I was there for maybe about a year and then I got this gig with Chevy.
Speaker 4:Like they found me on Twitter, girl Old school Twitter, right, where you would respond to people who had the eggs as their profile, like that kind of old school had the eggs as their profile, like that kind of old school, and from there then that kind of gave me like a how do you say a boost or the revenue for me. Like I then moved in and became I had a roommate, um, and I just kind of started growing baby step from there. I didn't have a game plan, I didn't have a roadmap, I didn't have blueprint, I didn't have goals, that I was just like let's see what it goes. I have no idea. Do you like? Nobody knew Um, and so from there it's like a lot of trial and error.
Speaker 2:So cool, Did you go ahead Sorry.
Speaker 3:Murph Just in to be a resource for so many folks. I just remember trying to find things on the internet back in the day and it wasn't like, okay, hey, let's get all this information and keep it in one section for this niche group of people. It was just kind of like a smattering of stuff that you had to kind of go and look for. I remember your blog just being the first time where it was like oh, I remember your blog just being the first time where it was like, oh, it's all laid out right here, like it just made it so convenient for folks. Did you, did you get that kind of feedback? Did you? Did that help refine? You know how you built the site?
Speaker 4:Yes, it did. And it was like intentional Right, because, like in my head I would go, there was Lucky Right and Lucky had all these different brands and all this different content, but there was nothing specific for the plus size consumer. And I was like I want to, like you know what was at that point, what was Monique C or Jabri or Crystal Frazier doing in the plus, you know, for plus size fashion? What were you know Lane Bryant Tour Attraction Figure. Ashley Stewart Like what were they know lane bryant tour attraction figure. Ashley stewart like what were they delivering to the consumer?
Speaker 4:I wanted to be able to bring an editorial eye, a contemporary eye, to things. You know, if I'm rounding up, at that point there was evans and simply be in navabi, all these uk and international brands that were serving the plus size consumer. And I was like, well, let me let these girls know what's going on here, and so that could became my jam. Like that's the kind of what motivated me. And then from there, hearing the responses, hearing the feedback, it allowed for me to kind of continue to fine tunetune. You know, that's why now, when we do roundups, we always list size ranges. I purposely don't include pricing, but that's on. That's on purpose, because I don't want people to negate the price for the options that exist you know, and and then the discovery of brand.
Speaker 4:I don't want someone to feel like to prohibit them from even exploring this brand because they know that it's you know, quote unquote expensive or out of their budget. It's about knowing what's available, what to aspire to, what to look. You know what I'm saying? Like, just like the, how they have in straight sizes. Absolutely I'm not going to spend $500 on a straight size dress one I can't get it, but two. Like I just don't want to spend 500 on a dress right now. But if I did, I'm gonna watch the sale. I'm gonna watch how to go on. Like I'm gonna learn what that stores or that brand sales cycle is. So I know, okay, let me watch it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Nowadays you can just put stuff in your cart and hold it into your cart until it goes on sale.
Speaker 4:Right and you know nowadays right and so, but we talk about that, we talk about that process, we talk about like, if you dream about it, make it yours, you know it's.
Speaker 4:It's certain things that, like you know, we, I think, at times, as place size women, we negate to consider or think about in terms of worth and value. You know, we could spend easily that money on a handbag, on makeup, on skincare, on hair care, but when it comes to clothes, that same level of that same value of investing in what's good and investing in quality kind of is a disconnect because we haven't had a lot of options or or the ability to to test and feel and see them because we can see them online. But seeing them online versus understanding the hand, the touch, oh, I can see why this costs, you know, X, Y, Z dollars. Well, I can see why this makes you know what I'm saying Like we don't have that experience because of the accessibility, or the lack of accessibility in plus size fashion. So we have just relied upon reviews, conversations, education, you know, social media to give us that feedback, and so if I have that knowledge, I'm going to share it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was trying to remember what brought me to the Curvy Fashionista originally, and there were two things. I can remember my niece trying to find a prom dress she was 17 years old and curvy and the other thing is I remember specifically spending a lot of time looking for bras For me bras that were cute, that were not just matronly and beige and full of like wires and hooks and I remember spending a lot of time on the curvy fashionista looking for those two things way back, way, way way back yeah, that was.
Speaker 4:I mean, I think it had to be way back when I probably was like one of the first brands I found was like lomi lingerie alone lingerie, I would. They were one of the first brands that I found that did editorial photo shoots of plus size women in bra and panties that were like beautiful bras, like she was on a train, train, car and she was just like and I'm like okay, girl, like I don't know what situation is happening here, but like, like yes.
Speaker 2:It was so rare back then.
Speaker 4:Right, it was so rare, and so that's why I featured these brands, you know, and their editorials, because it gave a negative perspective, or gave a perspective in plus size fashion, that we just never got a chance to see ourselves in that way.
Speaker 3:And I've really seen it, you know, change over time. I'm curious what are your thoughts on fast fashion for plus size folks?
Speaker 4:So it's like, how do you say a double edged sword? Right? Because society culturally has like prioritized this need for fast fashion. For fast fashion, there's been a lack of the explanation of why certain things were like you know the importance and the value of a slip, right, why was a slip created, or you know it? Or pantyhose with control tap, like all of those, those reasons why they were there have been removed and it's more about like doing what you want and feeling how you want to feel, because those were seen as constructs to, or they were seen as like tools of like adhering to society. You know, cold societies, whatever, but it served a purpose in how your clothes wore on your body and that's what's kind of been missing.
Speaker 4:And so, when it comes to fast fashion, I'm a fabric snob. I need things to sit like, to feel good on me, and it's funny because I also need my things to last for a while and be able to be worn a couple of different ways and a couple of different styles, depending on my mood. And so, when it comes to fast fashion, it's frustrating because oftentimes it's the only available last minute option, because when you think about fast fashion, you know, rest in peace forever 21,. Like they were one of the only you know, one of the few places you could go when you needed something, especially if you was trying to be cute with your girlfriends or go on a date or need something for whatever reason that you could go to. It was one of the only few places you know. We don't have an express version of for plus size fashion, right, we don't have a. I mean, lane Bryant and Torrid exist, but they are so few and far between in terms of physical locations Lane Bryant pulled out of all the malls, torrid sits right next to them at all these strip places so it's like it makes it really challenging. And then, on top of everything else, like if Lane Bryant and Torrid ain't your style, like you're screwed. Toward HL style, like you're screwed.
Speaker 4:So sometimes fashion, fast fashion has solved a need where they found a lot of like the contemporary, better um fashion brands were missing for this plus size consumer and while it's smart, like from a business standpoint, it's like frustrating because you still have folks like me. I still want my shit. I don't want to have to feel like the only way I'm going to get me a structured kick-ass blazer with some strategic cutouts or a dope-ass midi skirt that, like you know, whatever those pieces are like I have to settle for, and so that is why it's like so important for me, like we are always trying to lift up, celebrate and highlight indie designers, because they're the ones who are giving us that they're innovating. Oftentimes they're clappy by these fast fashion brands, like it's.
Speaker 4:It's really important for me to make sure that I'm supporting that innovation, supporting the brands that are giving us all those pieces I've just named. They're giving us these things that we want and need to really allow for our personalities to come through, because we now have enough resources. But now it's a matter of style. Yeah, right, now it's a matter of how do you define and curate your style from all of the options that are available. That is like the next foray. I kind of see plus size fashion going into.
Speaker 4:Interesting, I know that wasn't your initial question, but that's what it was.
Speaker 2:I think also and I've said this several times on the show we cannot hold it against fat people who have to buy fast fashion, because sometimes that's all we have access to. Maybe someone only they have access to is Walmart and also there's like two places I can shop in person. Do I want to buy fast fashion? Of course I don't, but it's all there is for me sometimes, and also it can be expensive to not to buy something besides fast fashion. I know it's terrible, but like I don't feel like I have a lot of options. If you're a size four, I think you have more options. It's how it is.
Speaker 3:It's frustrating too that like, okay, I want to, you know, purchase something that's nice, you know, or at least I think, is going to last a little bit longer. So, okay, I go to a Lane Bryant or I go to a Torrid. Have you noticed that both of those brands, their clothes, have just started to disintegrate? I'm sitting there thinking, okay, I'm paying $40 for a graphic t-shirt at Torrid where I could pay $6 through Sheen and have you know, a graphic tee that's going to last probably just as long as the Torrid one and I'm going to save $34, you know, like it's just, it's wild to me.
Speaker 4:I think that's more indicative of, like, the culture, like in totality, not specific to Pluss. When you think about, like, the supply chain disruptions that have happened over the past few years. When you think about, like, yeah, there's going to be some changes, and I think even probably more so adamant or prevalent in these last few years than anything else that we've noticed, like the changes in how, um, our clothes have worn or have fit for me, because I am still a snob with things like, for example, this jumpsuit that I'm wearing that technically will like sit off the shoulder, like this, like if I wanted to wear a strapless and just be like all southern cali, you know cute. Or I can just wear it like here, just basic, you all Southern Cali, you know cute. Or I can just wear like hero, just basic, you know, like.
Speaker 4:For me, it gives me option, but the fabric is divine. I love it. Like it's so easy breezy, especially in Southern California, what next week is supposed to be over 80 degrees and I'm like I need, she needs to breathe. I need to breathe, right, and so that is why fabric is important for me, right? But I think it's also why I don't mind and I understand the need to invest a little bit more in fabric and invest a little bit more in what I'm wearing, because I'm not driving all over the place or searching all over the web for like 10 of these. I need to know where I got it and it's good for at least five years. I don't have the time, I don't have the patience to search and scour multiple times Like cause God forbid.
Speaker 3:Like I have a junk suit from 11 on a ray that I just know will never come back and I'm like onto that True that I can't never come back and I'm like onto that true that I'm I can't even think about how many different like specific items that I've just had to take in and be like please stitch this up like it's the only one that's like this material in this cut and oh yeah, I feel that I mean having to take it, or if you don't want to snitched, you're taking it to your dry cleaner the tailor at the dry cleaner, the seamstress at the dry cleaner alterations, whatever that person at the dry cleaner, they're the ones who do all that extraness.
Speaker 4:Like having to have that conversation with them. But even that is like removed right, like that becomes something to talk about, because a lot of plus size women, you know, they're still just just learning their measurement, just learning, oh, your calf is 17 inches wide, or oh, you're wearing, um, a nine inch, or you need a size nine ring or a size 10 ring, oh, or oh, you need a set. Your waist is 42 inches, oh you're. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like just understanding their body is such a new concept marcy cruz is the one who finally got through to me. Crystal always know your measurements, keep them on your phone. When you're ordering online, you're shopping online or you're out somewhere, have your measurements in here. And she even gave me like the extra long tape measure. Thank you, marcy Cruz, because she's so right. We don't have the information. You can't make good decisions. There she is, that's the one extra long I keep it.
Speaker 4:I keep it right here at my desk because when I say something I need to understand, I measure it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to know your upper arms, your calves, your ankles, everything. So, marie, why is it so difficult to get the designers to make sizes 26 and higher?
Speaker 4:Do we know industry and lack of understanding or lack of resource because or maybe either lack of resource or lack of care, right, because one, the industry was like going up to 3x, that's what it used to, just, that's just what it was. Right, the the girls. We started pushing back, being like no, include more sizes. We got like a 4X and maybe a 5, right. Then you had these startups come out the gate like a universal standard or a good American and come out the gate all the way up through a 5X and they said say something. Then you started having indie designers carrying 4Xs and 5Xs. Then you have someone like Loud Bodies, who is hella sustainable. They carry up to a size 10X, okay. And so you now have these brands that are giving us these options.
Speaker 4:You even have Alpraypouring butterfly, a swim brand. I think it's like up to a five or six. Like outpouring butterfly. Swim has like gorgeous pieces that are featuring are nothing but plus size women, right. So when you have these brands that just don't cater or carry up to a plus, um, or even, let's just say, a full plus size range, because they'll be like oh, we're size inclusive and they'll do an XXL and we're like sis, that's not. It Like that's a whole different size chart than plus. So there's a lack of knowledge, right? So they're thinking that they're doing something not knowing what really. So they haven't put in the research and it was like a easy cash grab, right it?
Speaker 4:kind of it kind of lends itself to think it's an easy cash grab, right. But then you have those who are spending a lot of time and research because you hear it from plus models, right. Plus models that have gone in to fit for a new brand that's trying to pretend to test and play and plus, and you're like okay, so when's it coming? You're, you're, you're ready, like okay, let's go. There have been so many different brands that I've known from, just like I've heard from different models who have used them as fit models, as test models.
Speaker 4:So half of it is like ignorance, whether willful or intentional. And then you have like the sizism of it, all right. And then you know, I was having this funny kind of thought last week, especially with all the news around Forever 21 and it's bankruptcy, and I'm like you know it's funny, forever 21 and what's their name? Express. Was it Express that went bankrupt too, that filed for bankruptcy too? Yeah, it was Express.
Speaker 4:Like both brands who dabbled in Quest but didn't respond to the way that the plus size community had asked them to, and by the time that they finally decided to play in plus, it was like towards the end of their demise. Right, it was like a last ditch effort and I find it to be quite frustrating and also telling. Quite frustrating and also telling. Like so these brands recognize that there's money to be had here, but only in their what do you call it darkest hour do they decide, oh, let's play with some plus girls. And when they realize, oh, it's too little, too late, they don't really have the resources to fully support or engage with us.
Speaker 2:I'm like girl bye I've never heard of loud bodies, but how come you said? You say they go on up to 10x. How come a company like that can make it happen and others can't, because they're an?
Speaker 4:indie brand. They're not. They're not boggled down by the bureaucracy or the um nuance. They're also proudly sustainable and proudly ethical. Scores right.
Speaker 4:So when you learn about some of these brands and what they stand for and how they choose to engage in this space, I mean, same thing goes for Selkie. Selkie goes up to a six sack Even though they don't have plus size medals. I love you, selkie, but I need for you to get some plus size girls on your site. But like you know it, they, you know they encourage and feature and celebrate. They at least put them on the runway. I will say that they put, they put the plus girls on the runway. Selkie, good for you. But like you know, there is a and you can sit with us kind of an energy that a lot of other brands just do not give and that's and that's prevalent with, like, what they choose or choose not to do, and sizes. I mean, think about it lane bryant didn't go, didn't extend their sizes until they lost katherine's that was like two years ago when they finally went up to size 40, right?
Speaker 4:something like that, and still not full on in their size and full on in their. You know what I'm saying. It's not integrated, but at least you know what I'm saying. Like I remember being like, so when are we gonna see size ranges girls?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's crazy. Just we are the majority, so people over size 18.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it is you have the perception of plus size woman lazy, stupid, slow, not smart, like all these negative things. Right, why would you create cleansing to encourage you know what I'm saying? To encourage, you know what I'm saying the sizeism folks are very stuck, or, yeah, stuck in this limited mindset, in this very narrow mindset of what a plus size woman could be. Yes, we've had our breakout, in our Lizzo's, in our Yusuf's, in our Michelle's, but like, and even Queen Latifah, but again, it's still few and far between. It's not a regular occurrence enough for a, a brand, to be like wait a minute, let me like wake up. I mean because dvf worked with eleven on array and expanding some of their sizes, but dvf didn't change working with them. They didn't be like oh, this is an opportunity. Them dresses are 300 each for a wrap dress. Okay, a wrap dress that will last you for fucking ever yep you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:Like they could have introduced, but even with their partnership with that brand. You know what I'm saying? Like they didn't take it further. But you know who did?
Speaker 4:tanya taylor oh yeah tanya taylor goes on I think a 24, 26 and she's a contemporary, you know. I want to say a little bit more like preppy type of designer. She's got her lux fits. It's very. I'm in the hamptons and I'm living life. But like for the plus size woman who's living life and is in the Hamptons, tonya Taylor needs to be her best friend, but she will only know if she's being marketed to.
Speaker 2:Never even heard of her.
Speaker 4:But that's why I'm here.
Speaker 2:I know, I know Thankful for you, that's for sure.
Speaker 3:Okay, what would you say are your top three brands?
Speaker 4:Personally.
Speaker 3:Personally.
Speaker 4:So I would have to say it'd be city chic. Um, their cuts just really fit me, like I don't have a lot of hips I don't got hips at all and their dresses, like especially the strapless ones, come with soft boning, which is like a perk and a feature that you don't get in a lot of plus-size clothing pieces. Um, and it's also like lightly lined. It comes lined, go figure, right. So, like I appreciate the level of quality for, like a contemporary, contemporary-ish price, right, so it's pretty chic. Um, you said three, this is so hard. This is like picking my favorite kids. Um, I would have to go for like degree because I love the innovation and the styling and the excitement that she brings. Like she, I have pieces that I've had since like 2009 that are still in my closet and I refuse to let go of them because they still wear very well.
Speaker 4:Um, and that's like a testament just to the you know like.
Speaker 4:That's why it's important to like support, because you could have a closet that works for you, right, that speaks to your aesthetic while you're mean. So another designer who is like I have yet to get my hands on a piece of clothing, but I'm completely obsessed about everything they drop is a designer out of Canada called Hillary McMillan. She goes up to a Forex and so like zero through a 4x and she gives like she's giving me the suiting, she's giving me the attitude that like the elevation, the sophistication, that the polish that speaks to my personal desire, my personal style of aesthetic, right, um, she speaks to me. I think. Um, eloquii speaks to me too, but it's kind of up and down, right, and you know certain, you know certain things or certain seasons speaks to me, or certain pieces will versus like a whole collection. Um, but I would, I think I kind of like in like an express. Um, if Eloquii were to have stores, I could see them sitting right next to an express and being like your plus size girlfriend or the plus size answer.
Speaker 4:I think I'm a Virgo. So I dress for my moods. So for me to have like my top three is really challenging because Eloquii is that one of those brands. But then I love finding the, the nuance and the excitement of indie designers, like book call, like by cynthia bailey, and she's giving me a 100 silk wrap maxi dress, right, and my, my body is just breathing and like floating and I'm feeling the you know what I'm saying. Like I'm feeling myself and I got cleavage sitting, good. But then I've got some whimsicalness in Santi Grace. She's got a sheer tulle like maxi dress that I can play in. You know what I'm saying. So there it's, it's. I think the beauty of style right now in plus size fashion is learning to develop it with the resources and options we have. Like it's really challenging for me to just list three. Yeah, it depends on my mood what, who you're wearing right now communicate, but the fact that I can find a brand or a resource that I can go to to help me communicate with what I need, that's, that's the comfort?
Speaker 2:who? Who makes your beautiful eggplant colored jumpsuit that you're wearing right now?
Speaker 4:girl. It was a fast fashion brand and I've had this sucker for like. It's called livd. I've had them for um, I think, like five years or so, and she washes. Well, she hasn't faded good like none of the things that like and I'm like okay, this is like. You know, this is surprising, right, especially when you think about from a fast fashion brand, because you know their stuff is not really made to last. But this one, oh yeah, she sure she's been living.
Speaker 2:I, me and her are besties, especially here in southern california marie, did I read somewhere that universal standard is going to be available at some, a retailer that we all shop with? I need to look that up. I just remember reading something I was like, oh, that's interesting, maybe it's just going to be here in the bay area, but I'll check it out and see if I can find you'll have to, because I want to know yeah oh hmm, yeah, they do a lot of those pop-up shops they do a lot of pop-up shops, yeah yeah, what about?
Speaker 2:what do you? What kind of shoes do you wear? What size do you wear?
Speaker 4:first of all, I'm like a 10 so I am a 10 okay and so which I guess sometimes, like I'm a nine and a half wide and like some of the plus size brands, um, but you ask me what I wear, and so I'm totally a house body, right, I'm a home body, so I don't go very many places, but when I do, like I'm in my sketchers because I was dealing with like plantar fasciitis and so I needed that support on my heels. Amen, and that became my go-to. And then I found, like these really great, like, like you know, those shoes that are like boots, like they're like a slip you could slip them on and they're like boots or whatever, and they're like fur long. Those are my favorite. However, when it comes to heels, when it comes to dress your shoes, some of my favorite actually come from city chic, oh, interesting, okay, yeah, cause I can wear them all day and not get irritated or not be frustrated about the Velcro coming off, or like the pitch, which is the angle that your foot is hitting the, the, the sole, like you know, the angle of your foot, that's the pitch y'all like driving me insane on like an inch heel, right, and I'm like what the hell is happening? I'm in an inch heel, why is my foot hurting. So, um, but like I love, I love like smash shoes. They have like really great boots and I'm not not even a full, traditional wide width or I find that sometimes wide width can be too wide for me.
Speaker 4:So I really appreciate Smash Shoes because they give the style, high style, and they're like a Southern California-based brand, indie brand, but they're carried in Macy's Interesting and they start at a size 10 or a nine and go up to size 14. Shut up, I know, and so I've been also playing around with like Dolce Vita, because Dolce Vita has been going hard. They're plus size where they're wide calf and wide width ranges and options. So if you like you, your like high fashion, like your on-trend fashion options, like Dolce Vita is definitely a brand to check out. Um, city Chic, I'm always checking for their boots, their sandals, their heels. I will always check for them. I'm like a forever fan of City Chic. Um, but they're like Australian based. Oh, wow, so like even, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:I was going to say at Fat Con. I never tried them, but both seasons, both years when I was at Fat Con they had that brand wider WIDR Murph. Did you try any at Fat Con?
Speaker 3:I didn't try it. At Fat Con I purchased a pair of like glossy black Mary Janes, really nice. It's true to size, so it's legitimate. But it definitely felt like when you're walking on them you're sturdy, you're not having that like a baby deer, you know. Yeah, but I only have the one type, so I don't know, you know, compared to the others, what they are, but I was impressed. Have you tried them, marie?
Speaker 4:No, I actually haven't heard of them until you said something right now. So now I'm like let me go to their website and learn more.
Speaker 2:I think they were a sponsor at FatCon because I think the fashion show all the models were wearing shoes from Wider W-I-D-E-R. But yeah, I'd like to check them out. I've never tried any, but I feel like my feet are different sizes a little bit so it's pretty hard to find really comfortable shoes.
Speaker 4:Interesting. I'm so curious Like I'm going to like dig in more into them. Thank you for enlightening me to them.
Speaker 2:You would have so much fun at FatCon, they should hire you to be a speaker.
Speaker 4:I'm available.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's January, middle of January next year, but it's in Seattle. It's going to be in. It's going to be the same hotel I was at this year. It was really nice.
Speaker 4:I'm available. They just gotta be like hey, marie.
Speaker 2:I met Pucks through Tigress again Tigress, of course. We should just have Tigress as a permanent guest on our show, because we always bring her up. She's such an amazing resource.
Speaker 4:I just have her as a guest for my upcoming podcast.
Speaker 2:Good yeah, she's great. She makes a great guest. She always has so many interesting things to talk about and so much great detail and facts and links and all that. Like you, you know it's a great resource.
Speaker 3:She is adore tell us a little bit about this new podcast, if you can, okay yeah.
Speaker 4:So when I before the pandemic no, during the pandemic, I no, during the pandemic I started a Facebook Live series. I started this Facebook Live series because I was like, how can I show support to indie designers, indie businesses, folks in the plus size space, so people know what's going on, how they're navigating? So this Facebook Live series was called Speaking of Curves and so I did that for like a year and some change, and then I kind of stopped using Facebook because it kind of got really weird during the pandemic and so I kind of fell off of Facebook and I just kind of stopped. And this past, last year actually, I was challenged to do you was challenged to show up more and to find different ways that they've conquered or they've succeeded in different spaces within the plus size community. You know, within. You know. So I don't have, like, all influencers, I don't have all models, I don't have all business owners, like it's really a range of different folks who are seasoned in this space, who have, you know, put in the what's the word, the time, the hours, the years or whatever, so they can talk about their journey right.
Speaker 4:So you know, especially as an entrepreneur, the funny part about a lot of this is like a lot of us don't know what the hell we're doing. Like it wasn't until for me, like in uh, 2022 yeah, I'm all 2022 when I realized like everything that I thought I knew was like bullshit and my whole slate was wiped clean. Like when I say wiped clean, like God, spirit, universe, anc, ancestors, whomever you believe in like came in and removed all the things, and for me, it forced me to have to like, sit with myself and really be like, okay, what is TCF doing? What is TCF? What is the goal, what is the? You know the purpose of? And I really kind of found my groove in being in the space of servitude, being able to provide resource, provide information, to provide and to share stories.
Speaker 4:Because there is no blueprint for half of the shit we do most of the time and we're starting it because out of frustration that it doesn't exist, out of frustration that you can't find what you need, and then, because you don't even know what the hell you're doing, title is called. You don't even know what to go and how to research by the better to better on it. You know what I mean. Like, oh, I'm an entrepreneur, is that the word?
Speaker 4:right I'm a founder. Oh, I'm a ceo. Oh wait, my thing was in 2023. I realized like I had outgrown being a blog and I had grown into being a digital media publisher. I had no idea that's what the fuck the name was called.
Speaker 2:You're the funniest.
Speaker 4:I had tried to Google, I had tried to Google it in so many ways, and all Google gave me was social media shit.
Speaker 4:Yep Google it in so many ways and all Google gave me was social media shit and I didn't know how to create a strategy. I didn't know how to properly plan. I was growing out organically. I was growing just like taking leaps of faith. I did not know the points of creating a budget. I didn't know how to create a budget. I did not know how to create a budget considering all the things. Even when I started to try to pretend to create a budget, I had approached it all around.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, Interesting.
Speaker 4:Like I was like my mindset into it. So like, once I went through an accelerator program, I went through a business bootcamp and then I I had gotten ecosystem so I can reach out to my other peers who are publishers and talk to them about how they're structuring things, they're doing things, was I able to learn.
Speaker 4:So this is the 2.0 phoenix rising from the ashes that I was like referencing crystal because, like in order for me to get to, as I am, like, ascending into this next level of TCF, like I had to understand and learn a lot of the things that, like there was no you know when we, when I started, when I went through in my MBA program, there was no social media, blogging, digital media, publication types of courses classes are in.
Speaker 2:There was no entrepreneurship courses you were on the bleeding edge, not the leading edge. You were bleeding literally.
Speaker 4:So I'm over here like not knowing what I didn't know and unfortunately, you know, and then, on top of everything else, is being an entrepreneur. I'm dealing with my own, like how do you say trauma, life, trauma, bullshit? So then that's seeping through because I don't know what I'm doing. Right, go ahead.
Speaker 2:I was just saying, yeah, all of us, I think, are going through that same kind of shit right now.
Speaker 4:Right. So I'm like navigating and so once I was able to remove a lot of this shit and sit back and just like reflect and realize like damn, I didn't even know what I didn't know. And even if I knew it, I had to go through whatever process it was for me to learn how to feel comfortable with being able to call that specific thing out, Because there were times where I should have let go of folks on my team.
Speaker 4:But like I was so worried about being liked versus respected, or I was so worried about perception versus operation, like my focuses were all off Because I wasn't seeing this as a business. I was still in my hobby mode. I was still in my founder mode. I had to shift into being into my CEO mode. You're in the hobby mode. I was still in my founder mode. I had to shift into being into my CEO mode.
Speaker 2:You're in the master mode, you are master, you are the, you have mastered it.
Speaker 4:I know I have not. I'm still in that process. Because here's the thing I am now in the space of learning what it means to be a CEO. I am now comfortable with acknowledging myself as that a CEO. I am now comfortable with acknowledging myself as that. But, like now, I have to like put it to work Right so you can just like say something, but you have to be able to walk that walk too.
Speaker 2:I see you teaching masterclasses on this, Marie.
Speaker 4:I appreciate that and I received that, because I'm at a space where I'm literally trying to figure out where and how I could be most valuable to you know, upcoming entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2:Think about all the people that you've influenced, and then a lot of us are always also business owners who need to take our business to the next level. I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 3:Oh, I think we could ask Marie probably a gazillion more questions regarding fashion and everything else. Yeah. So, Marie, we need a 2.0 of this conversation as well.
Speaker 1:I'm here for it.
Speaker 3:As you know, we ask every guest on our pod to share with us their favorite sex toy or sexual aid or something that makes them feel sexy and in the mood.
Speaker 4:So what does that mean to you? What does it mean, or what in?
Speaker 3:with what is it? Whichever one you want to answer so, sex toy, sex aid. Or we found that when we went to FatCon, we found that some folks didn't want to share answer. So sex toy, sex aid. Or we found that when we went to fat con, we found that some folks didn't want to share their favorite sex toy, so we kind of made it a bit more inclusive I will, I have no problem.
Speaker 4:So, lilo, they're a little fancy, they're a little expensive, they're bougie, but I've had multiple conversations with my sister because I'm like girl yes you need to look into this. That's one of them, and then there's this other one that I just introduced to me oh, they're new to you they're new to me and but they look like jewelry.
Speaker 2:It looks like uh like a pendant like a pendant.
Speaker 4:you can wait, girl, you can wear it. I'm totally blanking on their name right now and I feel kind of bad, but like that is like also impressive to me. So for me I'm all about like get your orgasm.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 4:Get your fix. Rub one out however you need to. I am pro-orgasm.
Speaker 3:Same, absolutely.
Speaker 4:And so that's my favorite right now.
Speaker 3:I love that those two brands are your favorite, because I don't know you very well, but just from this conversation those two brands seem so refined that it's just like, yes, those would be Marie's favorite toys. They just seem so cool the Double Sonic, the Lilo one, the Lilo refined that it's just like, yes, those, those would be marie's favorite toys like they just so cool the double sonic, the lilo one, the lilo yeah, very from me oh, lilo, the brand is very refined yeah, it's known as like, yeah, yeah girl when they emailed me.
Speaker 4:When they emailed and sent the picture, I was like well hello, hello lover right, like I know your name, um, so yeah, but like I think prior to that I would have to be like the womanizer, but she died on me I know that they might be coming out with a new version of that womanizer that he made for plus bodies that you have.
Speaker 2:they might be coming out with something very similar to that this year. We're close with them and we love all the Womanizer products, so stay tuned.
Speaker 4:Well, you know, like holler, because, like you know, she was my friend and then she died. So when we both said hey girl, I was like hey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all about that suction nowadays.
Speaker 4:I was not being choosy. The suction and the vibration together is heaven.
Speaker 2:But that's my favorite. Thanks for sharing with us, Marie Tell all of our listeners.
Speaker 4:Maybe some of them don't know you, I can't imagine that, but tell them where they can find us on instagram threads, facebook, at the curvy fashionista. So that's t-h-e-c-u-r-v-y-f-a-s-h-i-o-n-i-s-t-a. I'm all like, make sure I know how to spell, but that's the curvy fashionista on p said on Pinterest and on Twitter we're at TCF style. So T as in Tom C, as in Charlie F, as in Frank S, t Y L E, um, but you can follow me on all of those same platforms. I am most. You can always find me on Twitter. I'm very rarely on Instagram, um, but I'm at Marie Denae-A-R-I-E-D-E-N-E-E, and you can say hey, girl, hey, and I'd be like hey boo, hey boo. You found me here. And I'd be like oh my God, hey, friend, we'll be immediately besties.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, so I'm trying to remember. Oh, I know I was going to ask you could you share your website too, Because I think if you go to your website they can sign up to get on your newsletter.
Speaker 4:So yeah, so definitely make sure you follow, you go to, you visit us at thecurvyfashionistacom and that is where you can always find the latest in fashion, wellness, travel, lifestyle, entertainment all the things going on from a plus size perspective. So that's thecurvyfashionistacom. And while you're there, make sure you sign up for our newsletter so that you can never miss the latest. That's what's going on with plus size fashion. So thecurvyfashionistacom is where you can sign up and subscribe, where you can follow us on our social media and you can read all the fun articles of the latest in plus size fashion.
Speaker 2:And it's really deep, like you have a depth of history of lots of stuff out there that's been there for a while. It's really really helpful, really useful even still today.
Speaker 4:So the fun nerd part of me is like I have to. I'm literally each month by month, having to go through and having to de-index or update or redirect because Google is now punishing us for having all of this content that hadn't been updated. So like, instead of deleting these articles I'm doing, I'm being trying to be really intentional on just de-indexing them so you can still find them on the TCF site, but you may not find them when you search it on Google, so we don't get double penalized.
Speaker 2:Yeah, things have changed a lot for the SEO world in the last six months or a year. It's Google, it's like whew, it's all changing. It's going to keep changing a lot it, it seems like for the next year or so. So that's that, ai. Is it thanks to ai? Um, thank you so much. Marie murph, do you want to tell everybody how to find us and how to subscribe?
Speaker 3:to us. Yeah, you can visit our website bigsexychatcom. We are on all the socials at big sexy chat and then you can send us um your thoughts, ideas, comments, love letters and boob pictures. We talked about that previously.
Speaker 2:Bigsexychatpod at gmailcom smile and just nice to see you. I know we go back a little ways and, um, yeah, it's just so fun to catch up with you, so thank you. I again thank you for all that you do, for all of us too. I really I'm so grateful and I'm grateful to tigers for introducing us all those years ago. My pleasure, honey, my pleasure, thank you. Thank you all. Right y'all. Good night. See you later. Alligator after wild crocodile be parakeet.
