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Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat: 2 Rad Fatties Unapologetically Sitting Around Chewing the Fat!
Current Events, Hot Topics, Viewer Questions, and Vibe of the Week. Fat Politics, TV Shows with fat characters, ditching diet culture, #sexnotdiets, sex, sex toys, relationships, mental wellness, sex toy reviews, cannabis, cbd, medical fatphobia, glorifying fat bodies, movies, current events, hot topics, fashion, lingerie, Black Lives Matter, and pretty much anything under the big fat sun! Email: bigsexychatpod@gmail.com
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Hot Thigh Summer: Traveling Fat with Jen McLellan
Traveling while fat? Oh, we’re going there — and we’re taking the aisle seat and the window. In this episode of Big Sexy Chat, Chrystal and Merf are joined by the incomparable Jen McLellan: author, speaker, certified childbirth educator, and the force behind Plus Size Birth and the Plus Mommy Podcast.
Together, they dive into the joys and frustrations of navigating the world in a fat body when it comes to planes, cars, and hotel beds — with zero shame and maximum honesty. From seatbelt extenders and compression socks to airplane bathroom acrobatics, car rentals, TheraGuns, travel-friendly sex toys, and awkward TSA moments, no topic is off-limits.
There’s laughter, a little rage, a few fan recommendations (hello, perimenopause), and a whole lot of empowerment packed into this juicy ride-along.
And just when you think the episode's winding down — surprise! We've got a breaking update from Tigress Osborn, Executive Director of NAAFA, with an exclusive message for our listeners.
This one’s for the babes who refuse to shrink themselves, in size or spirit.
Guest Info:
🌐 PlusSizeBirth.com
🎧 Plus Mommy Podcast
📸 @plusmommy on Instagram
📘 Facebook
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Hey, you made it. Ha, you're just in time For a little something juicy with Crystal and Murph Dark and fat sex, big feels, hot Takes and kinks. We're breaking all the rules, babe. What you think?
Speaker 2:It's Big Sexy Change. Say it back now. Big Sexy Change, let's go.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. In this episode, crystal and Murph are joined by the incomparable Jen McClellan, advocate, educator and host of the Plus Mommy podcast. Get ready for laughter, real talk, some sex toys and a whole lot of heart, without further ado.
Speaker 4:Hi, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. This is Crystal, your host, and my co-host, murph, is here with me tonight. Hi, murph, hi, I'm so excited to have one of my favorite people on the planet and someone that I met through Fat Liberation. We have Jen McClellan from Plus Mommy and Plus.
Speaker 1:Birth Hi, jen Hi, thanks so much for having me back. You guys are awesome.
Speaker 4:What year was that we met at the Body Love Conference? 2013 or?
Speaker 1:14.
Speaker 4:over 10 years. I wish we could have a body love conference every year that would be nice, that would be fun yeah, anyway, welcome back to the show, jen. We're so happy to have you back thank you for having me yeah, yeah, love it.
Speaker 4:So tonight we want to talk about all things traveling while fat. Flying, road trips, all kinds of fun stuff, anything kind of fun that we can think of that we can do when we're not within the four walls of our damn home world is a little weird right now. But anyway, I'm so happy to talk about road trip, road tripping tonight. And fine, I just bought some tickets from Southwest Airlines. I'm going to go to an electrology conference in Las Vegas, my hometown, so I won't be having that kind of Vegas fun. But the conference is on the Monday and so I'm going to spend the weekend with my family and go to the conference. So I did just buy some tickets in Southwest. I do have some recent experience with that. What's been going on with you, jen? I know your podcast is kicking it, kicking butt.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you. Yes, the Plus Mommy podcast. I've done some traveling too in Southwest, but it was right before the policy changed and some road tripping, and I always just love to talk about advocacy and comfort with travel. So thanks for inviting me to join in on this chat.
Speaker 4:Happy to have you here.
Speaker 2:Absolutely One of the things that, when we were talking about different types of travel, that I was thinking about were, like hacks, things that you specifically do, that you know like work really well for you. So like when you're in the car and you know you're going to be gone for long hours Like, what are what are your go to's, what are your hacks?
Speaker 1:I have like a little bag and I do this a lot with traveling, like with flying too, but I have a little bag within arm's reach of like everything I might need Mints, tissues, a book if I'm not, you know, the one driving Headphones, extra chargers, all those things. I find that especially in an airplane because I got a belly and I can't really lean all the way down and grab everything. So I'd like to have things easy with arm's reach that would fit in the pocket or just fit by where I'm sitting driving. So I'm just like my guidelines for travel as someone in a larger body is comfort and advocacy and just making our lives as easy as possible, and I think it kind of applies to everyone. We just got to do things a little bit different because the world is not necessarily designed for larger bodies.
Speaker 4:True that those are great items. I love it. And don't forget to put your favorite cassettes for fun music, I'm kidding, I'm kidding CDs. So when I travel, I like to be prepared for everything too, and I was telling somebody today even though I pre-buy my tickets and I buy two tickets on Southwest, I still get there two to two and a half hours early because I want to make sure I don't want to rush, I don't want to be sweaty, I don't want to have to fucking run through the airport and I just want to make sure when I get there. You see me, I need two C's, I need them together. Okay, it's not going to work if you give me A and C. I'm going to need A and B or B and C. So I'm just to take the stress off me. I arrive super hella early. What about you?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I always always arrive early, and when we were saying the word hacks earlier, I know now we have to buy two seats in advance. Right, you can't just show up early, as a lot of us have in the past in Southwest. One thing that I started doing because I'm a girly with anxiety and I medicated for it.
Speaker 1:So definitely have a lot of anxiety is I started using PayPal's credit, so you have up to six months to pay it back, and I've always found with Southwest after I travel I can call In fact, I need to call them. I need to call them for a refund on one of them. Thanks for jogging my memory there, friends. But the refunds come really quickly for me and I try to do it before I get hit with a credit charge, which clearly I messed up this last time. So we're all imperfect, but that has really helped me because I don't have the funds for two tickets. But I also didn't like the stress of not knowing if I would be guaranteed a seat.
Speaker 1:So I know having the access to credit can absolutely be a privilege, but PayPal credit is pretty generous.
Speaker 4:Great idea Jen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've used it for years now.
Speaker 4:They do give you. I always get my refund really quickly. I used to skip buying the two tickets. I would just show up, and now I would never do that. But yeah, that's a great way to do it, instead of putting holding up all my money on my credit card. That's a great way to do it. You're so brilliant, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, of course, and and I know like, believe me, southwest is imperfect, but I work directly with them.
Speaker 1:I've had the privilege of being flown out at their first ever influencer event because they wanted a larger body there, they wanted some representation, and what was really amazing to me is, like you kind of get an insight of what is the culture like in a business when you're at their headquarters, and it was so amazing that their influencers that are not only pilots but baggage handlers were already were all included too, and we were all treated the same.
Speaker 1:Everyone got the same treatment. The employees and the influencers is a weird word, but the influencers that said so much and everyone that I talked to was so positive and upbeat and as many opportunities as I had. I talked about how much this policy of theirs has given me dignity with flight and travel, and that has meant a lot to me. So I just wanted to put that out there. I know we all wanted to know what was going to happen much sooner and it would have been great if we could have heard something um, but I'm I'm thankful and I still um travel with them exclusively me too exclusively uh, I do, except not always when, uh, I'm traveling long flights.
Speaker 2:So if it's like cal, if it's california, nevada, you know, like those kinds of things, sure, if it's, if it's California, nevada, those kinds of things, sure, if it's West Coast stuff, it's Southwest. But if I'm traveling long distance I'm usually paying for Delta or American Airlines, that sort of thing, just because they have the nonstop flights. Where Southwest doesn't, they've got a stop a gazillion places, nonstop flights where Southwest doesn't, they've got to stop a gazillion places. But we had a person reach out to us and ask us what's the difference in a plus size body between comfort plus versus first class? And I want to say I do have experience with this, but I do not.
Speaker 2:I didn't purchase those levels of seating. I had purchased an economy and the airline had screwed up on certain things, and so then I got bumped up to first class and then also got bumped up to comfort plus. Before I can tell you the difference really is in the amount of space that you get. It really is different. In the Comfort Plus seating I have a 4X hips so I've got pretty thick. I think I have like a 63 inch on my thighs, so when I sit down like it's got a lot of space, but on the Com plus um, I could sit easily and not go into the next seat, and in first class I could not only do that but had a little extra space, but I had a lot of leg room. So, um it, there is definitely um the advantage, if you can afford it, to um upgrade that luxury of space.
Speaker 2:It really does make a difference, especially on a long flight. And then the other amenities are much greater than the pretzels and your half a glass of soda. They give you a whole can of soda and then all these different snacks to choose from, and in first class you get, you know, the warm towel, you get orange juice or champagne. You get all the things. So the space is legit, though, like they really do give you extra space, but yeah, you're paying hundreds more for that, just those inches. Like it's just wild that it's just inches, you know, but it really does make a difference. Like it's just wild that it's just inches, you know, but it really does make a difference, especially as somebody that like really struggles with going into the other side of the seat and needing two seats when I fly normally. So yeah, that would be. It really does exist and it really is a privilege. But it is pricey from from everything I've ever looked at. But if you can get them to show up your vacation, then sure you know they'll give it to you, for free.
Speaker 1:But, murph, are the toilets bigger? Because you're saying long haul, you just want to go, but the bigger I've gotten like I want to have a layover now because I don't want to Unless I maybe pee quick, but even then it's like, oh my gosh, like the bathrooms are so hard to navigate in a larger body. So I think that's why I don't like I'm fine with a layover now because I can get out and pee and stretch my legs. So I'm curious when you, when you've been in that luxurious area of a different plane, are the bathrooms bigger?
Speaker 1:no, it's the same horrible space that you get everywhere else I have a gluten allergy, so if I get sick I have to go to the bathroom and I don't know the last time I went number two on the bathroom and I am on a plane, on a plane and honestly I think that's like I'm so afraid of that day when it comes, like I am so careful with what I eat when I travel because I just don't want that to happen.
Speaker 4:I peed, maybe like a year ago on a flight and I made it work, but it was not a very pleasant experience agreed yeah, when I flew back from fat con this year, it snowed in Seattle that day and then at night when I was leaving, it was really coming down, so the plane had to get de-iced and the pilot said, okay, we're going to get de-iced. He made it sound like it was going to be like five or ten minutes. Oh, it was like 90 minutes.
Speaker 4:And I try really hard not to drink too much water during the day when I fly because of this specific reason. So I hard not to drink too much water during the day when I fly because of this for exact you know specific reason. So I did um, I asked my seat mate. I said I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to get out. Of course he had to get up and move and I came, you know whatever, and then I just went open the door and I backed in backed in, pulled my pants down but I was wearing stretchy pants for thank god and then just did what I could and then back out.
Speaker 4:And I do have one of those travel things for squirting and cleaning stuff, but there's no way I could have done that there. There's just no way. So I just had to pee. There was no other way. I was going to pee my pants so it sucked. It's terrible. It smells horrible in there, jeez.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's gross the worst disgusting I felt like, um, wiping was like acrobatic, you know we get, we get real raw and honest here on your show. So, um, but the thing is going back to advocacy, right, like take care of yourself, do what you have to do and don't find shame. I think for me, like I probably asked for an extender when I'm getting on the plane and I'll just stand there, because I had one time where someone didn't give it to me and then the plane started like taxiing, and I thought, oh, they'll remember, and they didn't. And when the lights turned off, I'm like hitting the call button like wait, wait, wait, wait. Like my safety matters, cause what I know. And talking to pilots too, like you know those air pockets, when we have turbulence we can be thrown up in the air, like it's really our safety issue. And so not only for myself, but maybe even a seatmate too, I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm going to ask for it and I'm not going to feel ashamed.
Speaker 2:A thousand percent for it and I'm not going to feel ashamed A thousand percent. I find that asking for the seatbelt extender most of the time not a problem and I you know somebody around me might say, like what did she ask for? You know, like cause they're just not used to that kind of thing, but I never found it to be a problem. I do see that sometimes people get really upset that they have to do that. I've just never understood that.
Speaker 4:I used to be more embarrassed or I felt ashamed, but I don't anymore, I don't give a shit. But so at the time, like 10 or 12 years ago, I did buy my own set, and there's like one for Southwest and one for everybody else. But then I read that that's a problem and that it changes how you, if something does happen, how you might get a settlement from them, because you're not wearing exactly the right, you're not using exactly the right tech, technique or what do you call it Technology, or the right seatbelt. So they said, don't do that anymore. So I just asked for it now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know people were like just get your own. And then the FAA issued something like please don't.
Speaker 1:And I get it for anyone listening that like it's hard, like, yeah, sure, the first couple of times it was hard, but the more I started doing it and sometimes I'll even film it and share it over on social media because I just want to normalize asking for it, and the more you do it, the less scary it gets and I think, like prioritizing my well-being and knowing that I have the right and deserve safety just as much as everyone else. Like you know, for years before I really got involved in the advocacy movement and met Crystal and all these amazing people, like I would just kind of hide my seatbelt under a sweater right and pretend like it was buckled and I'm so thankful that nothing happened. But what if it did? Like I just can't imagine getting hurt myself or hurting someone else because of the fear of what people might think of me asking for something that provides me safety and dignity.
Speaker 4:Amen. Have either of you ever used an extender for your car or for someone else's automobile?
Speaker 1:I haven't, and that's something that I've been thinking about more, because when I travel, I often need to Uber and it doesn't always fit right in the back seat, and so it's been something that I've like. That's my next level of like empowerment and self-advocacy that I want to do, because often it does, but not always, and then I question like, well, here I am putting my safety at risk again.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've done that. It sucks. Yeah, I need to figure that out too. And also some of my friends. When I get in their cars I don't fit well in their seatbelts. Usually I get in the back seat and it's uncomfortable for them because then they're driving and I'm in the back seat, so they're like a cab or Uber driver. They're like it's weird, with you back there, I can wear the seatbelt back here. But yeah, I need to figure that out. But let me ask you what do you two drive?
Speaker 4:I drive a hyundai tucson okay so it's like a smaller suv that's on the list of fat approved cars what about you, jen?
Speaker 1:I have a toyota camry and I was shocked. I love how it like we went. Our car, my car was dying right, like, literally, like shaking as we're driving. We left, left the mechanic and they're like yeah, this isn't going to last.
Speaker 1:So we literally pulled into a Toyota dealership because my sister always said Toyotas are reliable cars, and I was so anxious but I've gotten to the point where I'm like I'm just going to be honest.
Speaker 1:So when you know, that sales person walked up, I was like I need a car that fits my body and I felt really proud of myself for like saying that and to go along to bring it back to traveling too, like renting a car. My mom came out to New Mexico and she wanted to rent a car, so she had one too, but I knew that I'd be driving it as well because we were doing a little road tripping and I was like may I please test out this seat? May I please make sure my body will fit in it before we rent this car? And they were so accommodating and lovely and said if you need something else. But I, yeah, was it? A little like oh, but then I got in my I'm gonna advocate for myself mode as opposed to that oh, I need to make sure I fit mode, and it was really helpful. So when we were buying, um, a car, you know we I was testing out the seatbelt more than testing out the car and testing how my body fit.
Speaker 4:Once I went to the rental car place and tried on cars weeks before we rented a car and then when we got to the day of the one they promised me they didn't have. So we got upgraded to this really nice Volvo and I was like, oh jeez, I want to own one of these, but they're really pricey. It was really nice ride, but it fits so well. I was so shocked what other cars have you both had?
Speaker 1:Oh, we had a Chevy Trailblazer before. That was the one that we were like, barely hoping that it would make it to the car dealership and that was. That was great too. And my dad's F-150. At first I was like, oh, I don't know that this is gonna. The seatbelt felt tight, but then I guess it was just stuck and turned around, so that's a tip too Like. Sometimes the seatbelt will be adjusted where there's actually a lot more that you can pull on. Um and and I, I fit. I love when I go to California and visit my family borrowing my dad's big truck. I'm a very short, round teapot. I'm only like five feet tall and a half inch, so I like driving a big truck and I found that most big trucks are actually quite roomy for bigger bodies.
Speaker 2:I've always found that it's interesting. But I've always found that Honda Civics fit my fat butt quite well. Like I bought a Honda Civic and everybody was like you might want to make sure. Like I had literally had three people, you know, my husband was like I don't know, and then we got there and I slid right into that thing and I was like the fuck, why were you guys all shitting on me being like a Tommy boy, like you know, fat guy? But it worked perfectly.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I found that, like even the RAV4 and their little CRV, I fit in them. I was like so shocked. The only thing I will say is that a little low to the ground. So when I got to get out, it's like, oh, my knees, I've got to get my booty from really far down below my knees, which I usually try to stay at least, like even with my knees with my cars. I like to get out and just be like I can just step out, you know. So, otherwise I, yeah, my booty, fit in there. I find that cars that have a console are where I struggle, but even then, if I have an extender or my seatbelt, I can make it, make it work, but they're not, as there's so many different cars, so a lot of different extenders.
Speaker 2:Something that I was thinking, hack wise, that works for long car rides and for air travel is compression socks. That has been super, super helpful for me. That, and just like doing like little toe exercises where I'm wiggling my toes, taking maybe even like a little, not like the travel pillow that goes around your neck, but like one of those little, you know, just kind of bar, yeah, so that you can just kind of either put it between your lower back, you know, in the seat, or, um, like Crystal said, you can kind of cover the seatbelt so that it's not like, yeah, cutting you off and choking you. Um, yeah, that's been one of those that I really enjoy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, those Mojo socks suspender socks or other support socks almost every single day, Because at my job I'm almost always over my feet and then when I fly I always put them on. Now too, it's just so comfortable. But they're just from Mojo, they're like $25. They're available on Amazon or direct from them, and I love those socks. They're like regular socks.
Speaker 1:You were saying that the pillow Murph and I. I had the neck pillow and it accidentally fell behind my back and I leaned back and I was like, oh my goodness, this is so comfortable because I've got a booty, and then there seems to be like this little space in between that needs something. Um so, I started yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I I started using the neck pillow behind my back when flying and that has helped me a lot. I just sit more ergonomically, I guess. So because travel, I feel like, does a toll on my body with swelling and stuff too, and that has reduced back pain. So yeah, I'm totally with you of putting a pillow behind her back. I found it makes a really big difference absolutely, and it can be.
Speaker 2:It can be different size pillows, like whatever is most comfortable for you. But yeah, I have the shelf issue too. So there's that big gap in my lower back, you know, and so it really does like hurt if you're not moving around and you don't get to do that a lot on a plane or in a car, you know. Um, one of the things too that I've found that has been really helpful, is it literally just flew out of my brain? Of course that happens. I'll think of it when we're talking and be like yeah.
Speaker 1:I can share something else around advocacy that I found extremely helpful with flying. And now I know not everyone's a window person, I'm a window person, but I literally get in, sit down and then I wait for someone to finally want to sit in the row with me. But once they do, I'm like, hey, it's your lucky day, there won't be anyone in the middle. And then I put on my headphones and I let them do all the advocacy work for me because they're getting the bonus of having the middle seat, so I don't have to do the work, and it has almost always worked out so fantastically and people are like oh that's great, Like OK, I'm going to be a podcaster.
Speaker 1:And they're like, no, she has both seats, or no, someone's like I, because it's that sitting there and people asking and but they're asking that look of, oh my gosh, why do I have to sit here? Which just makes me feel like crud. So that's something that I've done. That I've found really helpful is have someone else do that advocacy work for me.
Speaker 4:I almost got into some fisticuffs one time with this guy. He was like what do you mean? You bought it and I really didn't buy it at that particular time, but they give you an extra ticket. So I said, yeah, I already bought both of these. I paid for both of them. He said what do you mean? I was like what he means literally like I paid for it. These are both my seats. Well, they said it's going to be a full flight. I go seats. I don't know how to explain this to you, sir.
Speaker 2:All three of us have had this issue, then, because I just literally came back from a leadership conference and my cohort member sat beside me but she, you know, we had the middle seat because I was able to have the middle seat, but she was on the end. And so people, it was a full flight. And so people are walking by and like, oh, can I sit there, cause she's literally like 98 pounds and she's tight. So it's like, oh, I mean I have all this space, right. And I'd say, I'm sorry, the seats reserved, because that's what they tell you to say. So I'm like seats reserved.
Speaker 2:And I heard this lady in front of us. She said seats reserved. He's the last fucking person on the plane and he didn't get it either, right, like he's looking at me like reserved whatever. And I like, leaned forward because I was so pissed at this point, like this is the second cohort member that's had to watch me deal with, you know, fat bias when flying. And I leaned forward and I said to her it's an extra seat there's, it's been paid for. So, yes, it's reserved, not that it's any of your fucking business. And she was just like, and like my cohort friend was just like, but it was just. You have to say it all the time and it's so fucking rude. It's just so rude that people are like they're disgusted that they're first of all they're late. Sorry of all, they're late, sorry, this is my tangent I got to get off on this they're late on the plane, right.
Speaker 2:Then they're like, okay, well, you got to choose the middle seat. And it's like, okay, well, you've made it all the way wherever it is to me. And now you're like irritated that you have to sit by me. And then you get irritated when I tell you you don't get to sit next to me, like it's just shit all the way around.
Speaker 1:I love what you do, jen, the idea of just being like it's your lucky day, you get to deal with it yeah, genius good job yes, it's helped to alleviate anxiety because also I see the way people look right as they're boarding the plane and looking for a seat and apparently now they won't be looking for a seat anymore, but still like it just, even with all the body love armor I can put on my body it still makes me feel like shit about myself, and I'm tired of feeling like shit about myself, so I'm advocating for myself all the time. Someone else can do it if they're getting a perk sitting next to me well done, bravo sister.
Speaker 4:Thanks done, bravo sister. Thanks for that tip. I know I brought this up before, but have you ever gone on a road trip with your man and then also gone on a road trip just with the girls and noticed how much different they are? I'm like, wait, we can stop at this antique store. We can stop at this antique store. We can stop at this stop to get fruit. We can stop and pee 14 times, mind blown. I love it. Do you ever travel with your girls?
Speaker 1:jen, road trip with your girls oh yeah, but I would say I think maybe I'm more like the one that's like let's just get there, and chris is like the one that has to pee all the time when I travel with my bar. But yes, girls, road trips are the absolute best, of course.
Speaker 4:So fun, so different for me and in my life anyway, I was just like I love this.
Speaker 2:I remembered the thing I was going to say If you have the ability, purchase the travel Theragun because you're not taking that giant Theragun, you're taking the tiny little one and it's so easy to travel with and after you've traveled, like going over your, your calves and stuff, so that they're not like cramping up it's so wonderful. And then, if you're not with, if you are without a sex toy, you still have something. You know.
Speaker 4:Just saying tell everybody what a theragun is, in case some people don't know, and if they don't, they need to figure it out soon, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:So theragun is in case people don't know, and if they don't, they need to figure it out soon. Oh my gosh. So Theraguns are after you do intense workouts or you're doing rehab, after you know having had some sort of injury. The Theragun is just a giant, motorized. It's basically like if you've ever seen those sex machines. It's just a handheld version of that but with a ball at the end of it and you can target certain muscle areas you can target, like strains and things like that, so that you know you can release muscle tension.
Speaker 2:And it is just a super incredible device to use after you've been sitting for long periods of time. I've loved using it on my hips and my sciatica that area after I've traveled or sat for a long time. But yeah, look up Theraguns they make generic versions of it and all that. But I found that the actual Theragun travel one, and it's specifically travel. It's like a little pyramid and then at the end is the little ball and it's just incredible. It's super convenient, it's really easy to charge and have ready to go and, um, I've not had a single problem with it.
Speaker 4:Your mini one is so stinking cute does it, it's amazing, does it have a handle?
Speaker 2:no, it's just a little. It's just a little triangle, okay, and it's solid, like it's probably about you know about that thick and then, yeah, it's my genius.
Speaker 1:My mom has restless legs, so for her being older too, something with a handle work. So I'll share a really sunny, quick story. I was in Austin speaking and my mom was able to be there, and so we were sharing a hotel room and she calls me Jenny, and so we were, like you know, in her own little bed the lights are off and she's like good night Jenny. And I'm like good night mom. And then I hear and I had never laughed so hard in my entire life because she didn't prepare me, because it's her nightly routine with rats and slugs she has to use it and travel within. So that's why I asked about the wand, because for her just holding something would be too hard. But, um, yeah, it was like the funniest moment that I remind her of all the time of like good night mom.
Speaker 4:Mama's got hitachi magic wand in under her sheets of like goodnight mom. Shh Mom, do you want to?
Speaker 1:leave the room or something.
Speaker 4:Mama's got Hitachi magic wand under her sheets that would be amazing.
Speaker 1:I'll always remember that mother-daughter trip.
Speaker 2:One of the things of off-brand use that you can use the Theragun for is, if you wanted to use it to I'm just going to be blatant pound your clit. That's amazing, but it also is a really great vulva massage so that if you like your inner thigh, like that groin area between, super great for muscle release there. I will give you the caveat that it's not meant to be a sex toy. It's a metal rod that's going back and forth with a, you know, a silicone end, but if you get it in the wrong area it can like rip your skin off if you were to not do that correctly.
Speaker 2:so not advocating for that but, if you you know, yes know yes, it does work.
Speaker 4:I was going to say the Hitachi Magic Wand is also not designed to be an orgasm creator, it's designed to be a neck and back massage. But I also have a funny mom story with my Hitachi Magic Wand. She came to stay with us one time and she asked if she could borrow mine because she gets really bad tension headaches, she takes excedrin, she gets you know all kinds of stuff. So I said, sure, mom, let me just clean it, okay, because you know she knows. And so I cleaned it and I give it to her. And then I go take a bath and I hear this sound.
Speaker 4:It's like like the whole house is coming down and my roommate and I were like what the hell's going on? And I guess she was holding it between herself and the back of the the door, so the whole house was literally shaking. I was like, oh, my god, mom, that's what are you doing. I was like, whoa, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, she's like it's from my neck and my, my roommate's just like you, let your mom use your touch magic wand. Yeah, she knows, I cleaned it first. We, we laugh about that a lot too.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Well, you know, crystal, up until recently you were the reason why I was having so many orgasms, because you gave me a womanizer plus size. But I don't think they have them anymore and it finally died, but I had it for so many years, About 10 years.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you'll have to.
Speaker 1:I've been meaning to reach out to you because I need the longer handle.
Speaker 4:We're trying to get them. I heard there might be some things. They told us we think something's in the works. Do you know any more than I know Merce from going to the Sexway show?
Speaker 2:No, it sounds like it's on the way. I will say that there is a waterproof magic wand that's coming out and it has a bigger motor. So I know we were just talking about magic wands. You might want to wait and get your mom a magic wand that's waterproof. But yeah, no, they did talk about the fact that they've heard people say they'd like longer toys for that.
Speaker 4:And we've begged, and we begged her on when she came on the podcast and we asked them to bring the information back to their design team and she said oh, I know, I know I've been telling them, so I think they're starting to hear us. So we're trying to really do a lot of advocating for just. We need more extension. We got to get around our bellies, we got to get around our labias, we got to get. Some of us have short arms, um, so no kidding yeah, for real, your ex arms um.
Speaker 2:I'm all torso that's it you're also sure? Um, I'm curious, though, talking about, uh, sex toys like when you're traveling, what are your? Some of your tips and tricks with your toys like? What are you, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:I have definitely brought like the little clitoris stimulators on trips, so I've never brought anything bigger. I think I will forever run in my head that viral TSA video so I think that turned me off. But I think y'all could turn me on to try anything. So maybe I need to branch past that. But I've definitely traveled with those little ones and just threw it and like checked. I don't think I've ever done carry on from that TSA video. That clearly caused me some trauma. But it's amazing too. It's a hilarious video.
Speaker 4:But yeah, that's what I've done. I have one tip for y'all in case you're ever in a hotel room with a toy that takes batteries and your batteries go low or get too old, the remote control has. Usually they put some fresh batteries in your remote control in your hotel room, so you can always borrow them, put them back and then you're good to go until you can go to that CVS or whatever.
Speaker 1:That is brilliant. Yes, they have road trips with different toys for sure but not flying with more than just a little button pusher.
Speaker 4:It's also nice when you travel somewhere where they have the shower head that comes off of the shower so you can clean things and also it just so happens to feel really good on your clitoris. You have that, the, the point, you know, not the, all spread, all. I don't. I want that direct hit on my clitoris from the, the, I don't know what you call like the, what do you call it?
Speaker 1:spray, not spray, but you know, focused spray thank you like the yeah you know, it's a different hormones speaking of that, I want a big bathtub, and so one of my other tips for traveling is really spending time on the reviews and looking at photos and like going on to whatever travel app you prefer and really seeing. Um, I think I live in, you know, new mexico, where we have a lot of hot springs, so we was planning like a birthday trip not that long ago and so I was like going, because some of them only have, uh, queen size beds as opposed to king size, and so really spending that time to research and showers like some hotels, especially boutique hotels they're supposed to be fancy or have like these itty bitty round shower things. So, as a bigger person, that's something that I find I always do with travel is spend a bit more time really researching what amenities and that kind of stuff Not to take us off the sex talk, but just to say if I can find a big bathtub, then we can, like you know, have other fun.
Speaker 1:But I yeah, I always want to do that extra level of research, so I know what I'm getting myself into, especially, like any Airbnb rentals, that I'm really looking closely at the bathroom too, just to make sure I'm going to fit comfortably as well amen.
Speaker 4:I have a funny feeling that fat people are some of like the best detectives on the planet, because we all do so much freaking research before we go anywhere or do anything, right, yeah like restaurants.
Speaker 1:Like restaurants mean if they have booths only or cheers with arms and all that kind of stuff too if you start a uh, what do you call private eye service?
Speaker 4:of all fatties? Here's, let us do your research for you.
Speaker 2:We've already got it all. We already know it all. I think you know. One of the things that is minimized also is how we've talked about menopause and perimenopause a lot here. I have I don't know how many different types of fans, but my most recent one is this tiny little like it's like this big, it's round and it clips onto like your purse and it's a bladeless and it has three settings and it just shoots air like all over. It's wonderful. I got it on the TikTok shop for like $13 and it's rechargeable and it's.
Speaker 1:It's literally just like that big, like it's so like the size of a donut, smaller you sold me on that because I've seen it, because I always travel with fans now and I'm in perimenopause as well and yes yeah, I have to have a fan when I sleep. So, okay, you sold me. I always like that. Most hotels now have the us ports, because I need one for the phone, one for the fan, and then clearly I need to get a travel toy, and then I got one for that too. Exactly.
Speaker 4:What do you mean? It's no blades. I don't understand.
Speaker 2:It's like a bladeless fan, so it just like shoots, air out.
Speaker 4:Where does the air come from?
Speaker 2:It's like a suction through.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's um, it's like a suction through, so it's like, yeah, cool.
Speaker 2:It's just like sucking air through and then like shooting it out. But yeah, it's, it's fantastic. I have some of those that come around your neck and like hit you, which is nice, like when I'm putting on makeup or something especially. It's like over a hundred degrees here on a regular, like once June starts. So you know having something while I'm putting on makeup, after getting out of the shower, that kind of thing. But I found that that little one, now that I have that it just clips onto my purse so that when I'm like walking around or doing whatever, I can just turn that baby on and then I've got air flowing. You know, it's so nice.
Speaker 4:So Jen, we never really talked about who you are before we got started today. Now everybody knows that you are Jen from Plus Mommy and Jen from Plus Birth, and that you are a podcaster and a blogger and you've been in fat liberation for over 10 years. Tell us a little bit more about you so our listeners know who you are.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, crystal. Yeah, I am a fellow podcaster. My podcast is Plus Mommy and I'm a mom, which is why I was a little late to this recording. I'm so sorry, but I talk about. I'm a childbirth educator, so I specifically do advocacy around pregnancy and parenthood, but I branched out into all different types of things and really focus on that medical advocacy work that we do and taking good care of ourselves and fighting for the respect that we deserve, and so my main site is Plus Size Birth and I have a course on there for perinatal professionals on how to be size inclusive in maternity care that I'm really excited about too.
Speaker 1:So, if you don't need nurses or doctors or doublas, it's a real passion of mine to change how people are treated in maternity care, and so I do a lot of traveling all over the country, and even I've gotten to the point where I talk in my talk like I've been trying to like be like okay, like I'm a big person, we're just going to talk about it right Like get in their face right away, cause I'd like to talk about weight bias and bringing down barriers, and so I do this thing.
Speaker 1:Where a voice comes on, it's like I bet she needed two airplane seats to get here. And then there's me on the plane, like a little video of me with my two seats, because I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do whatever I can do to get to places and have these conversations and great change. So that's, that's what I do. It's been the heart of my work for a really long time and getting pregnant and getting treated with respect and having an incredible birth where I wasn't. The whole thing wasn't about my size, it was about how can we best support you. It changed how I approach medical care for the rest of my life.
Speaker 4:So yeah, know you and so glad, I'm so happy and really I'm very grateful to you for all your advocacy. But also, have you seen the document or webpage that Ashley created with, I guess, fat-friendly doctors in the PNW?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just saw it. I've been meaning to add it to my webpage, where I talk about like how to connect with size-friendly care providers, so I'll definitely be, adding that that's so helpful.
Speaker 4:Very cool. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, people are really excited to have it and it's so important. We need so many of those tools. We're so. There's a lot more to work to do as you know, as you know, and especially in the age of Ozambic, it's like kind of feels like we got set back a little bit, just like with our administration. Sorry, I I digress, no, but we have, I mean, crystal I think about when you and I first connected and it felt like a resurgence right, because we all know the fat advocacy movement has been around for decades, but it felt like
Speaker 1:this resurgence and it went social and social media and it was so exciting and liberating and then, within the last like even just year or two, it is definitely like, even like the comment sections and social media is shifting again towards so much fat phobia, homophobia, sexism and hatred, and so, more than ever, we need these conversations and these voices. So thanks to all three of you incredible humans behind this podcast for all you do, because I hate how conservative things are too Like. Why are we talking about sex? Like, apparently the administration just wants us to procreate but we can't have orgasms. It's wild. So thank you for all that you do. I just got on my soapbox a little.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we all have to get on one once in a while.
Speaker 2:Yep, and there's no avoiding it. We got to get loud and I really appreciate that you do what you do, jen, because I work in healthcare and that is something that is regularly a miss. You know, like we were finding more and more that maternal mental health is really a scary avenue, right?
Speaker 2:now that has been through it and can like walk you through the emotional components of having a child and you know, maybe not always having support or being concerned or all those types of things. So can I think of all? Like in California there's like the first five commissions where you know you're talking about postpartum, you're talking about all the care that you need beforehand and then what are going to happen in that first five years and it's just really important information to get out there about, like if the person's not feeling safe and part of their birth plan and feeling like they're treated with dignity and respect, you're going to impact that child's life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, and thank you for that. And yeah, postpartum Support International is an outstanding website. If anyone's like, wait, what are one of those resources with a telephone, a number to call, and maybe, mark, you have other things to talk about. But yeah, it's hard out there. And then I think, relating it back to even this episode, like traveling as a fat parent, right, you've already got you know all your own literal baggage and emotional baggage. And then you have kids, like I remember, trying to figure out like how am I going to hold my kid as I'm getting onto this airplane with all this stuff and asking for help can sometimes be hard. So, just encouraging anyone, just show up a little early, give yourself more buffer time and like, give yourself grace and ask for help as you can, because that can make a difference.
Speaker 5:But it is hard.
Speaker 1:Like I think it's like the times I've taken my kid to Disneyland and knowing that people are looking at the fat mom and what are you feeding your kid? And all that shit, and it's. It's hard, but at the end of the day you've just got to shake it off and be like. I'm here for this this moment in time with my family, and I'm not going to allow anyone's judgment of me to ruin it, because I'm a pretty awesome person and they're not. So I'm going to live my best life and give these experiences for my family. But that is another layer that compounds mental health too.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. One more thing I want to say before we wrap it up, but I want to say I said this to my client the other day because she's getting a lot of shit, she's in a larger body and she wants to have a baby. And I said, sister, fat people have been having babies since the beginning of time. It's nothing new. Okay, we've always existed and we've managed to get pregnant. I'm pretty sure my mom was fat when she got pregnant with me, and on and on and on. So it's not a. I know they try to make it sound super scary, but people have been doing this for a long, long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we I mean we could have a whole another episode when we look at risks right, and Reagan Chastain does a lot of good work around breaking down statistics but yes, there are increased risks when you're pregnant in a larger body, but there's nothing that is only for fat bodies and the increased risks are so small compared to how they're presented.
Speaker 1:So, asking your care provider, what are my actual risks? Not the relative risks, because relative risks is what they usually tout like four times more likely to get gestational diabetes, that's four times more likely comparing my risk to a risk of someone in a smaller body. And if the baseline risk is only, you know, 7% or less than that, when four times seven really isn't as much as you're making me feel like I'm guaranteed to get it. So sorry to go off on a little tangent, but knowing how information is misrepresented so often around increased risk for people of size in all facets of medical care is so important. And then connecting with that size-friendly care team and then going back to advocacy, which is something we've talked about a lot here, and we're paying for all this shit y'all, whether it's a rental car or a plane flight or even getting a damp pap smear. We are paying for this and we deserve to be treated with dignity and no more of this, you know, just allowing people to treat us poorly because we exist in larger bodies.
Speaker 4:Yep, and this is why I point people to your website and your podcast all the time, because you just you know it and you, you feel it, I know, you just live it and it's so important to you and, anyway, I I know how it's amazing, how many people you've you've helped, how many families you've helped, so you're so grateful.
Speaker 1:You too, krista, I'm so grateful for you, thank you.
Speaker 4:So, murph, do you want to give everybody a little update how to find us our email? Big sexy what is bigsexychatpod at gmailcom. If anybody has anything they want to send to us, yes, please send us your voice memos.
Speaker 2:We've had fun with those. I think that you can follow us on every platform except for X, at bigsexychat, and you can find us at BigSexyChatcom, and please like, share, follow, but really it's word of mouth, so tell your friends. Tell your friends that you listened to a fun conversation and you got something from it, and then hopefully they'll tell two friends. You can leave us a review. That's always helpful but like, comment, share and when you comment, write a whole sentence, because if it's not more than four words, facebook, instagram, all those things don't acknowledge it as an actual comment. So true, thank you.
Speaker 4:Thank you, Awesome. Well, I guess I'm just going to sign off by saying see you later. Alligators.
Speaker 1:After a while crocodile Audio Sexy yeah.
Speaker 4:Pumens. Thank you, jenna, thanks so much. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Take care, hold up, don't go anywhere just yet. We've got a breaking news update. You don't want to miss this. Just in, a special message from Tigress Osborne, executive Director of NAFA, coming to you with an important update. Let's go to Tigress now.
Speaker 5:Hey Big Sexy Chat listeners. This is Tigress Osborne, the Executive Director of NAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I'm going to share some info about travel on Southwest Airlines. For many years, southwest has been considered one of the greatest friends of plus-size people in the travel industry because of their customer of size policy. Now, historically, southwest was known in fat community as South Worst Airlines because once upon a time they had a reputation as the worst airline for fat flyers. They had some nasty and embarrassing incidents for bigger bodied travelers and in trying to change that reputation and maintain their claim to have the friendliest skies, they introduced new procedures and over the years they eventually developed a customer size policy that was the best in the industry Until very recently. That customer of size policy allowed you to either pay in advance for a second seat and then get a reimbursement, or it allowed you to show up at the airport, ask for a second seat and be guaranteed a second seat on the plane, regardless of the status of the flight. But, like I said, that was the policy until recently.
Speaker 5:What you may not know is that Southwest recently very quietly changed their customer of size policy. They've made lots of big, big announcements about other changes to the airline, including assigned seating, including bags no longer flying free, including changes to how long your credits last before they expire, and all of those changes gave? They gave big announcements and emails to customers and splashy pages on their Web site explaining all the ins and outs of the changes that they were making. But when they changed their customer size policy, they just quietly changed the language on their Web site with no announcement at all. Under today's policy, you can still buy an extra seat in advance and get reimbursed, but if you show up at the airport and request a customer of size seat, you will only be given one if the flight is not sold out. Until recently, they would offer other customers an incentive to take a different flight in order to accommodate a customer of size. But now, if the flight is full, you will be asked to wait for another flight to your destination that has two seats available whenever. That is no matter how long you have to wait. So we want you to be aware of that change so that, if you were used to using the customer of size policy the old way, you know the risk you are taking if you do not purchase a seat in advance.
Speaker 5:When Southwest first announced changes. They promised that bags would continue to fly free, but then they went back on that promise and if Southwest will make this change to the customer of size policy with absolutely no advance notice and without even letting customers know, we cannot count on them to keep today's policy either. We're going to keep demanding that Southwest be clear and transparent about the future of the customer size policy and you can join NAFA in urging them to do so by contacting them directly, by tagging them in social media posts about their policies and by signing our petition at nafaorg. Slash Southwest N-A-A-F-A dot O-R-G. Slash Southwest Plus size.
Speaker 5:Folks have been some of the most loyal customers to Southwest for years and Southwest has been an industry leader in making flying inclusive and accessible for fat passengers and for disabled passengers of all sizes. But you need to know that even if they don't make any other changes to the customer of size policy, assigned seating will change the way it works, because it currently relies on us choosing two seats together. When we can't do that anymore, we'll be dealing with the same hassles and complications we deal with on other airlines. The ability to travel safely, comfortably and affordably should exist for all people in all bodies. Please join NAFA in urging Southwest not to become South worst again.
Speaker 3:Thank you for that exclusive update for our listeners, tigress, and for always showing up with such fierce dedication, wisdom and leadership. We're honored to have your voice on Big Sexy Chat and grateful for the work you do on behalf of our big, beautiful, sexy fat community. That's a wrap on this episode of Big Sexy Chat. Until next time, stay sexy and take care of each other.
